Attitude, page 7

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I don't plan on being sarcastic today but don't worry, it requires no planning If I didn't have sarcasm I'd need bail money
I'm not weird, you're hyper-normal A list of all those asking for your opinion:
My trailer park can beat up your trailer park Words can't describe how I feel about you because I don't feel anything about you
Life's a bitch. No, wait, that's you I call you Monday because nobody likes you
I've found violent outbursts to be a very effective method of anger management I didn't think I'd like you and I was right
New glasses would improve your style so you could see how bad your hair, makeup and clothes look I have boundaries! And I'm not afraid to use them!
I'm kind of a big deal I'm one of those bad things that happens to good people
I'm not here to make friends There are 7,130,000,000 people in the world. I like maybe 6 of them
I'm just going to pretend you're a user agreement and ignore you Pardon me, but I have minds to twist and values to warp
Eat my shorts! I miss your absence
Do I get bonus points if I act like I care? Keep calm my ass!
When in doubt I like to err on the side of awesome Mess with me and you mess with the whole trailor park
pretending to be interested If you get home after midnight missing a shoe you're not Cinderella, you're drunk
I don't give a hoot Allow me to confirm that I do not care
I was going to give you a nasty look but I see you already have one My attitude today is brought to you by the letters F and U
Your biggest problem is not knowing you're the problem Where have you been all my life? And would you please go back there?
Whatever it is, I'm against it A penny for your thoughts seems a little bit pricey
What I lack in tactfulness I make up for in sarcasm If there's one thing that really annoys me, it's everything
I'm generally pleasant to people. Your results may vary All I know is one of us is right and the other one is you
I want a selfie-stick so when I see someone using a selfie-stick I can whack them Let me get back to you when I give a damn
I may be going to Hell but it'll be on a full scholarship An unkind word can ruin someone's day so try to string a few together and see if you can wreck their whole week
Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about but you don't know what I'm talking about either Demonstrate your total command of language by shutting up
I didn't say I didn't mean it, I only said I'm sorry I said it I'd totally agree with you if you'd ever once be right
It's call Buzz Off and you'll find it right over there I'm like a cannibal in that I'm fed up with people
I don't fully understand your kind of crazy but I do admire it Before you criticize me, understand that I don't care
What I don't give... (Rat's ass) Going camping is a great reminder of how much I hate to go camping
Gone Medieval. Back In 20 Minutes My neighbors listen to loud music whether they like it or not
Not today Satan. But how does next week look for you? I'm spinning on a damp rock adrift in an unknowable infinity so yes, thank you, you have a nice day as well
Am I perfect? No. But do I strive each day to be better? Also no. Your selfies would be better if you weren't in so many of them
I get paid to be nice at work Don't be looking for freebies Can you not?
Goest and screweth thyself Would your inner child like to grow the hell up, please?
Shh, no one cares I'm only sarcastic on days that begin with T, such as Today and Tomorrow
Attempting to care  Please wait You are reinforcing my inherent mistrust of strangers
It's called karma and it's pronounced hahaha I don't answer private numbers or any numbers don't call me
There's someone for everyone. For you, I recommend a psychiatrist Please shut up now. Forever
I don't always care, but when I do... nevermind, I don't care Remember when I asked for your opinion? Neither do I
Enough sarcasm and profanity and you can deal with anybody Hey, trainwreck, this station is closed
Revenge is such an ugly wordI prefer
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