Declarations, page 5

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I love me I have a hidden talent and I sure hope I find it
I wasted my childhood saving Mario's girlfriend My other pro-vegan bumper sticker is also condescending
Conformity makes me comfortable I enjoy conveying amusing and/or insightful thoughts within a limited rectangular space
I'd be nothing if I didn't have haters to motivate me I listen to bands that don't even exist yet
I used to be psychotic but now I'm... I may not be very smart but I can lift heavy things
I can get you a toe -Walter I like soup
Of course I can keep a secret. It’s the people I tell it to who can’t I've learned so much from my mistakes I plan to make lots more
Yesterday I did nothing and today I'm finishing it up My principles are not for sale unless you are offering cash
Whatever it is, I'm against it Just another Trekkie living with my parents
I all-caps love you! I'm not insane, my mother had me tested
I am not responsible for your happiness I'm not procrastinating, I'm avoiding
I take full responsibility for my actions except the ones that are someone else's fault I'm not weird, I'm limited edition
Will make YouTube videos for food I'm not afraid of the dark, I'm afraid of all the things hiding in the dark
I'm not rich in terms of money or in terms of anything else that might count or be of value I'm here for the party
Automatic doors make me feel like a Jedi Thankful
If you think I'm a bitch, allow me to introduce you to my mother I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes seven years in a row
I used to care, but they have pills for that now I like to give advice. It's how I test it before using it myself
People say I'm selfish but I always think of others when I'm in need Advertising helps me decide!
I am not obligated to make sense to you What others take 2 hours to do I can do in a single day
I don't start trouble It just seems to be there when I arrive I can see infinity from my house
I think we'll be friends forever because I hate meeting new people My plan B is to keep trying my plan A until it works
I spend my time finding new ways to waste it I think, therefore I'm dangerous
When I start a diet, the second day is easier because I’m off it by then My favorite workout combines a lunge and a crunch. I call it Lunch
I oppose gun control with flawed logic, made up quotes and inflammatory rhetoric I support gun control with naive expectations, dismissive attitude and inflammatory rhetoric
The cake is my favorite part of a birthday party because now I can leave I was told there would be cake
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