Declarations, page 6

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If I ever have an out-of-body experience I sure wouldn't come back to this one
The only thing that keeps me from exercising is not wanting to What I love most about home is who I share it with
I am the 99% I'd be a vegetarian if bacon were a vegetable
I don't start trouble It just seems to be there when I arrive There's no excuse for laziness but I'm looking for one
I'm not upset about finding my first grey hair - it was in my burrito My pop culture references are all from the previous millennium
I like fancy cheese Veni vidi venti: I came, I saw, I had a large coffee
I didn't change my mind I simply improved my view I love being stupid with you
I eat 3 balanced meals a day. They are balanced by my 3 meals at night If I may brag, my credit score starts with an 8 and soon I expect to get it up to three digits
My dad can beat up your dad I'm on a diet where I eat whatever I want. I'm not losing weight but at least I finally found one I can stay on
I like naps My favorite salad is tomatoes made into sauce on a pepperoni pizza
In dog beers, I've had one
I can see infinity from my house I was told there would be cake
When I start a diet, the second day is easier because I’m off it by then I am Groot
One more proud Pastafarian My favorite way to exercise is not to
I ask for "no ice" because I really know how to work the system I didn't come this far to only come this far
I break for lunch I don't care if the Zika virus is sexually transmitted, I don't date any mosquitoes
I'm leaving my body to science fiction My favorite machine at the gym is that one with the snacks
I'm not usually one for statements so, goodbye I have opinions about things!
I don't flirt with disaster, it's more like we're going steady What others take 2 hours to do I can do in a single day
My home security system is owning crappy stuff I spend my time finding new ways to waste it
Relax, gringo, I'm legal They said it couldn't be done so I didn't
Will work for hundreds of thousands of dollars I used to be cool
I'm always in a good mood until I wake up My excercise philosophy is No pain, No pain
Warning: If I become bored things could get dangerous I have a hunch that nobody says hunch anymore
I'm trying to be a more positive person. Today I'm positive that will never happen I was trying so hard to forget something and now I can't remember what it was
I think, therefore I'm dangerous I love the smell of possibility in the morning
I love snow I'm kind of a big ordeal
I'm open to changing my mind, I'm just not going to I am not anti-social I am selectively social
I don't really have an opinion and I wanted to let you know My alone time is for your safety
The cake is my favorite part of a birthday party because now I can leave My favorite workout combines a lunge and a crunch. I call it Lunch
I came, I saw, I want to go home I think we'll be friends forever because I hate meeting new people
I'm training a new human to be a good person, what's your super power? Coffee is so much better when no one talks while you drink it
I oppose gun control with flawed logic, made up quotes and inflammatory rhetoric I support gun control with naive expectations, dismissive attitude and inflammatory rhetoric
My plan B is to keep trying my plan A until it works My sister is great but her sister is amazing!
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