Modern Thought, page 6

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Corporations are people too Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation
Worrying works! 90% of the things you worry about will never happen. Try it! A truly great library contains something to offend everyone
Sometimes the right thing to say is a hug You'll catch more flies with honey than vinegar. But what really works best is poo
Too much money is as bad as too little, and there's no such thing as just enough Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance: The 5 stages of waking up
Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant Sadness and bubble wrap cannot inhabit the same room
Napping can prevent aging if you do it while driving Sitting is the new smoking
Success is 1% inspiration and 99% being a member of the 1% Common sense, like deodorant, is noticed most when it isn't used
Now is the new later Anything is possible as long as it's within your limited abilities
Those who don't believe in magic are right are those who do When life gives you lemons be glad it didn't give you giant flying spiders
Excuses weigh about 15 pounds You can call it karma, I call it a banquet of consequences
Perfectionism: A propensity to be displeased with everything Money can't buy happiness but it can buy shoes. Problem solved
If you think money can't buy happiness you're not spending enough of it Guns don't kill people, it's mostly the bullets
You can tell a lot about a person by working at the NSA If you say no to drugs, talking to drugs may be a sign you're already on drugs
Being a grown up should never be more than a part time job Naps let you fast-forward the sleepy part of your day
If it ain't broke, take it apart and see why not Everyone smiles in the same language
If you're not paranoid you're crazy Children, drunks and leggings always tell the truth
80% of success is showing up someone else Every person has value Especially when sold as parts
If you can't say something nice, at least be vague To be number one you've got to be odd
Money isn't the key to happiness but you can use that money to have a key made Good things come to those who hustle
Life begins at coffee Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand
The biggest corporate lies are the serving size on snack food packages When the going gets tough, the tough pop a mint
Wondering if you're happy is a great shortcut to being depressed A cookie isn't ever a bad idea
Never be ashamed of who you are. That's your parents' job A to-do list is a great way to track how little you're accomplishing
You see infinity wherever you look, just not all of it Inside every small problem is a larger problem waiting for you to let it out
Silence is golden unless you have kids then it's suspicious
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