Personal Issues, page 5

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Hell hath no fury like me when I'm hungry and slightly inconvenienced My will power in any situation is always exactly not quite enough
Relationship status: Waiting for a Miracle Now the voices are texting me
I used to have super powers but my therapist took them away hexenbiest
I don't have pet peeves, mine are wild and untamed peeves I wouldn't say I'm street smart I'm more Sesame Street smart
I've still got it. I just can't remember where I'm not bald, I'm just taller than my hair
I'm nicer on the weekend I don't always drink beer but when I do, I tend to fart
I finally got a diagnosis! ...Restless Leg Syndrome! Proud to be a Grammar Cop
I would be more social, except... people I'm playing hard to get along with
Feisty when I need to be I'm a perfectionist about how other people should do things
I don't do happy Equal opportunity annoyer
Member of the Volturi I put the hot in psychotic
Sometimes when I open my mouth my mother comes out Sorry, I'm not good at people-ing
No one can body-shame me more than my body does I don't do normal
I don't go crazy I just go normal from time to time Me, jog? I get winded when my mascara runs
I'm pretty great at making the worst of a bad situation When anyone say they love me for who I am, it proves they don't know me very well
I don't do social I don't think much therefore I might not be
But for my absence of skills I would totally be a ninja I wrestled with my demons. Now we just snuggle
Wooden spoon survivor I'm not fat, I'm epic
Proper grammar makes me hot Happy camper
I like to pretend I'm not a sociopath What I have is like Tourette's but voluntary
My decision-making skills resemble a squirrel crossing the street I only bowl because I like to share shoes
Just one step remains before I'm finally rich: obtaining money my friends are great because with them I don't look like the crazy one
I'm not a peeper, I'm neighborly I don't do "awake"
I love to be underestimated I used to think I was a person of vision. Turns out it was hallucinations
Person of Interest According to my BMI I'm too short
If there was an award for Most Pessimistic I probably wouldn't even get nominated Ask me about my bitterness
I run on coffee and sarcasm Gangsta Nerd
I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick sounds like there's a cure I don't have an inner child I have an inner old person that wants everyone to shush
Rage has become my baseline emotion I'm Wonder Woman. I wonder where's my phone, my keys, my...
I'm a nurse. What's your superpower? Devoid of street cred
Smalltalk Survivor I do not math, therefore I art
Go away. Can't adult today When I see "do not eat" printed on something I consider it a challenge
I'm a great example of a bad example My hobbies are eating and complaining I'm getting fat
I'm not a procrastinator I'm just an avid follower of distractions The only person I trust is me but not much and not always
Cleverly Disguised as a Muggle Ske?tic (skeptic)
Powered by existential dread I never make a mistake twice. Usually it's ten times, minimum
I'm a romantic with a dirty mind
I ate a happy meal. It didn't work.
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