Tribulations, page 1

Tribulations, page 1 | 2 | 3 | 4
My 4,895th consecutive day of lowered expectations A day on Venus lasts over 4800 hours the same as a Monday on Earth
OK, time for PLAN B This morning was terrific, right until I woke up
I'm due for some blessings that aren't in disguise some days it's not worth gnawing through the straps
Nothing messes up my Friday more than finding out it's only Thursday I have too many tabs open in my brain
If there's a prize for bad judgment, I think I win It's been one of those days all week
Expectation is always my crime, disappointment my punishment If I was as good at remembering as I am at forgetting I could tell you why I brought this up
Oh, no, not another learning experience We're doomed -C3PO
Sorry, you are not a winner I think therefore I am a nervous wreck these days!
I've only got one nerve left and you're getting on it! There are some days even my lucky underpants can't help
When I used to daydream about the future, this wasn't what I had in mind Let's file this under emotionally scarring
Can open. Worms everywhere If by "happy" you mean clinically depressed... then, yes, I'm happy
I'm the leading cause of everything bad that happens to me I've had a great time but this wasn't it
I try to watch what I eat but I'm just not quick enough I'm already tired tomorrow
Thought loading. Please wait. I get worried if I have nothing to worry about
I was hoping I'd run out of things to be disillusioned about by now Oh, great time for the meds to wear off!
This too shall pass would be nice Your dryer isn't shrinking your clothes, your refrigerator is
When I laugh too hard I cry a little in my panties Way too tired for all this
I think I just heard the first thundercrack of the apocalypse Dear medicine companies, that's not what fruit tastes like
It's always a little later than you think This was supposed to be the future
I don't want to be here Pardon me, which level of hell is this?
I pay a monthly gym membership fee as reminder of my poor decisionmaking Ramen noodles taste like payday is a week away
I think, therefore I am depressed I've got a lot not going for me
I didn't lower my expectations, they crashed on their own I can't bring myself to delete any episodes of Hoarders
Today has been the exact opposite of fun The first five days after the weekend are the hardest
Ahh, I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again When did cake learn to talk, and how does it know my name?
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