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In case of fire do not use elevators. Use water My daughter thinks I'm nosey or so it says in her diary
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother I don't trust atoms, they make up everything
What I if told you that you read this wrong? Nice dyslexics finish salt
Avoid cliches like the plague My favorite memories are of the past
This is not a drill No prohibiting
Exaggerators Anonymous - A Trillion Strong and Growing There's a time for optimism and a time for pessimism. This is not one of them
Good eye might - Congratulations, you now speak Australian Director Department of Redundancy Department
There's no I in denial AIBOHPHOBIA: the fear of palindromes
Abstinence? I gave it up I will not obsess
Self-Awareness Lessons. Inquire Within Never believe generalizations
I used to be a kleptomaniac but I took something for it I love rebuses
My doctor didn't want to see me gain more weight so I gave him a blindfold Some people have a way with words, others have not way
Do not put statements in the negative form I learned two big lessons today. I can't remember the first but the second is "write things down"
Prepositions are not words to end a sentence with They say I'm noncommittal but let's just wait and see
Darts: Game of Throws Not to brag but I put a puzzle together in 3 days and the box said 2-4 years
I have discovered that the best time to plan ahead is always in the past I've said it before and I'll say it again. It.
clones are people two I never apologize. I'm sorry but that's just how I am
I dyslexia love Everyone says I'm in denial but really I'm not
The only problem you can run away from is if your problem is you don't run enough I'm completely reliable sometimes
Age is only a number, check that, age is a word National Procrastination Day. Date: TBD
I always start a diet on the same day: tomorrow This sticker is 25% funny and 85% bad at math
I'm not a control freak I just like to show people the right way to do things Knit happens
Free contradictions, half price! Rules to learning English: their our know rules
Two wrongs don't make a right but three rights make a left
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