Wordplay

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In case of fire do not use elevators. Use water Do not put statements in the negative form
clones are people two Anosmia stinks
I dyslexia love Nice dyslexics finish salt
Don't put off until tomorrow that which y I would never sell out unless I got a lot of money for it
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother There's a time for optimism and a time for pessimism. This is not one of them
Spellcheckers aren't worth a shirt Between you and I, we need an objective case
Good eye might - Congratulations, you now speak Australian Anything worth doing is worth doing write
Avoid cliches like the plague Abstinence? I gave it up
I never apologize. I'm sorry but that's just how I am I pink therefore I ham
I will not obsess I'm glad I'm not judgmental like all you smug, superficial idiots
My favorite memories are of the past Vampires suck
When my parents learned I was bipolar they sent me to a magnet school Never believe generalizations
The few. The browed. The Klingons. AIBOHPHOBIA: the fear of palindromes
We must address the homeless Prepositions are not words to end a sentence with
I'm completely reliable sometimes I killed a pumpkin just to see it pie
I will not tolerate intolerance I never finish anythi
I don't have a real ladder, just a stepladder Diarrhea is hereditary, it runs in your jeans
Jesuszilla, son of Godzilla Suicide? That's the last thing I'd ever do
Not to brag but I put a puzzle together in 3 days and the box said 2-4 years Descartes may have been right, but I doubt it
My doctor didn't want to see me gain more weight so I gave him a blindfold Typo's happen
2-second literacy test. You pass. They say ignorance and apathy often go together, but I don't know and I don't care
Without the Venetians it would have been curtins for all of us Being a mime means never having to say "I'm sorry"
This is not a drill I always start a diet on the same day: tomorrow
There's no I in denial My daughter thinks I'm nosey or so it says in her diary
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