Internet Bumper Stickers Wordplay, page 7

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If I could have dinner with anyone alive or dead I would choose alive You say I'm addicted to brake fluid but I can stop any time
I love polyamory I would do my utmost but I'm out of ut
Build a man a fire, you warm him for a day. Set a man on fire, you warm him for the rest of his life. I'm so lazy I never
He who dies last will not be remembered Operators are standing by
Whenever I feel blue I start breathing again Friends are like balloons, they'll drift away if you don't tie a cord around their neck
Do you get enough sleep> Yes No Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others
Introverts unite, separately, at home
What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot I give 100% all week
If we weren't supposed to wear clothes we would have been born naked I used to be angry and miserable, then I turned my life around. Now I'm miserable and angry
If Special K tastes that bad Regular K must be awful What do people in China call their good dishes?
If you have 44 candy bars and eat 40, what are you left with? Diabetes. People tell me I have lots of potential, but I guess we'll never know now will we?
Apathy solves everything. Or not. So what? My mom never loved me as a child. But then, I wasn't there when she was a child
If you are what you eat, I'm going to eat a skinny person A good name for a cover band would be Duvet
Never use a word you don't plaintively understand He who laughs last thinks slowest
To know yourself, first know others. You're what's left I work well under pressure as long as I have lots of time and the outcome isn't important
Whenever I start to feel lazy I take a nap until the feeling passes Bungee jumping is for suicidal people with commitment issues
They're reading a fascinating book in the space station. They just can't put it down Slept like a baby last night. Woke up every two hours crying
Fighting a war on drugs is probably less scary than fighting a war sober Have you heard about this? It's a pronoun to identify a specific thing
I advise you to never listen to advice Everyone should take a lover, it breaks up the monogomy
I may be dating myself but only because nobody else will "Stop quoting me!" -Anonymous
You can't make me feel bad, my self esteem is way too low for that I don't think I could live with myself if I was ever cloned
Cashiers are always checking me out At least the NSA is one government agency that will listen to you
I've got a perfect body. But it's in the trunk and beginning to smell I love rebuses
You don't know what you've got until you do inventory I cheat on my breast exams
I don't know how to express myself because I can't seal the box from inside They call me apathetic but I don't care
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