Internet Bumper Stickers Wordplay, page 7

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If I could have dinner with anyone alive or dead I would choose alive You say I'm addicted to brake fluid but I can stop any time
I love polyamory
Build a man a fire, you warm him for a day. Set a man on fire, you warm him for the rest of his life. I'm so lazy I never
He who dies last will not be remembered Operators are standing by
Whenever I feel blue I start breathing again Friends are like balloons, they'll drift away if you don't tie a cord around their neck
Do you get enough sleep> Yes No Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others
What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot I used to be angry and miserable, then I turned my life around. Now I'm miserable and angry
I give 100% all week What do people in China call their good dishes?
If we weren't supposed to wear clothes we would have been born naked My mom never loved me as a child. But then, I wasn't there when she was a child
Introverts unite, separately, at home If Special K tastes that bad Regular K must be awful
A good name for a cover band would be Duvet People tell me I have lots of potential, but I guess we'll never know now will we?
Everyone should take a lover, it breaks up the monogomy If you have 44 candy bars and eat 40, what are you left with? Diabetes.
They call me apathetic but I don't care I would do my utmost but I'm out of ut
If you are what you eat, I'm going to eat a skinny person I work well under pressure as long as I have lots of time and the outcome isn't important
He who laughs last thinks slowest Never use a word you don't plaintively understand
Whenever I start to feel lazy I take a nap until the feeling passes Bungee jumping is for suicidal people with commitment issues
They're reading a fascinating book in the space station. They just can't put it down I don't think I could live with myself if I was ever cloned
Fighting a war on drugs is probably less scary than fighting a war sober Slept like a baby last night. Woke up every two hours crying
I advise you to never listen to advice Have you heard about this? It's a pronoun to identify a specific thing
I may be dating myself but only because nobody else will Apathy solves everything. Or not. So what?
Cashiers are always checking me out To know yourself, first know others. You're what's left
"Stop quoting me!" -Anonymous You can't make me feel bad, my self esteem is way too low for that
I've got a perfect body. But it's in the trunk and beginning to smell I love rebuses
You don't know what you've got until you do inventory At least the NSA is one government agency that will listen to you
I don't know how to express myself because I can't seal the box from inside I cheat on my breast exams
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