Internet Bumper Stickers Wordplay, page 8

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I named my boat Palindrome. It's a kayak Top ten reasons to procrastinate: 1.
A hippo is really heavy. A Zippo is a little lighter I bought a bad thesaurus It’s really bad how bad it is
I finally got a diagnosis! ...Restless Leg Syndrome! Double negatives are a no no
I'm not a control freak I just like to show people the right way to do things I need some way to remind myself to make a To-Do list
I'm like an honor student but without the grades or motivation Steps to take in case of fire: really big ones
My Queen cover band is named We Will Paper You Atheists wake up at such ungodly hours
If they don't want me to knock it over why do they write "Tip Jar" on it? To me, the meaning of translucent is not quite clear
I’m kind of a big dill I'm so adjective, I verb nouns
Reintarnation: When you come back as a hillbilly If your cup runneth over you probably need a different bra
I need constant validation, right? Disgusted by mimes and their unspeakable acts
Bad puns are how eye roll Resist (resistor)
Sudoku for the busy A bisexual is a man who likes women as much as the next guy
I have an on again off again relationship with light switches Eat aluminum foil, you sheet metal
The sign, Employees Must Wash Hands, is wrong. It’s perfectly OK to wash your own hands There are 2 kinds of people: 1. Those who can extrapolate incomplete data
Stop worrying about an apocalypse it’s not like it’ll be the end of the world An introvert walks past a bar
Know what I don’t like? People who answer their own questions Vegan zombies want grrraaaaains
Philosophical Finder: Why are you here? American children can be kind but German children are always kinder
Puns make me numb. Math puns make me number A procrastinator's work is never done
Playas are a beach When will carotene be out of beta?
I don’t like sausage jokes, they’re the wurst A good pun is its own reword
Not sure I trust my math teacher and his graph paper He may be plotting something Look left. You failed.
You matter. Unless you energy (Na)16 Batman
(pumpkin) pi My vacuum cleaner just gathers dust
I laugh at mountains because they’re hill areas Electricians strip to make ends meet
To make holy water, take regular water and boil the hell out of it If you really want to shake things up I recommend maracas
If Watson isn’t the most famous doctor, Who is. Incel: A man trapped outside a woman’s body
A new study says you will pay attention to anything starting with “a new study says” Please explain sleep to me because I just don't get it
In queso emergency: melt cheese I’m not one for schizophrenia
I’m addicted to interventions Don’t engage in e-sex that is not contextual
I put the ‘toast’ in ‘toaster.’ Then I take it out and eat it My weekends are in tents
Dogs can’t operate medical imaging machines but cats can I don’t care IV roman numerals
To be frank, I would have to change my name Let's not talk about eternity because it just never ends
Vuja De: The feeling you're doing it wrong all over again Not all math puns are bad, just sum
I love heavy metal (tuba) You cannot swim under water you can only swim in water
My modus operandi is using Latin phrases to sound superior 20% off everything
On a scale of 1 to 10 I only weigh 10 pounds Sentence fragments tedious
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