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Many are called, but few are at their desks I think, therefore I'm overqualified
got work? Give a man food, he can eat for a day.  But give him a job and he can only eat for 30 minutes
One who knows how will always have a job... working for one who knows why I work 40 hours a week to be this poor
I can't even afford to take a staycation tgif. I don't even have all-caps enthusiasm this week
Every successful enterprise requires three things: a Dreamer, a Businessman and a Son-of-a-Bitch Maybe it's not Mondays, maybe it's your job that sucks
I love my &%$#ing job and my job loves  &%$#ing me I'm alergic to my job
I have a sleep disorder where I wake up every morning and go to work Meetings: Where minutes are kept and hours are lost
I don't need a longer weekend, I just need a shorter week The only thing worse than being laid off from my job would be not being laid off
To balance work and family, don't work or have a family Actually, you do have to be crazy to work here but, no, it doesn't help
It's only work if you'd rather be doing something else It's easier to do a job right than to explain why you didn't
My boss pretends I'm paid a lot so I pretend I work a lot If they hang motivational posters where you work, you probably have a job a robot will be doing soon
I spend every Monday destroying the evidence of how little I did on Friday I'm one of the Working Dead
Bringing gym clothes to work is the new going to the gym Take your child to work day finally gives me an excuse for not getting my work done
Some days at work I have very little fun. And those are the good days My boss is from the land down under. Hell
My resume is mostly a list of things I never want to do again Not having an office window makes me so unhappy I'm happy I don't have an office window to jump out of
I work best with others when they leave me the hell alone The great thing about a 3-day weekend it's followed by a 4-day week
It's so quiet in this office right now I can hear my boss's dreams dying I took my job to pursue my lifelong ambition of not starving to death
Dies this cubicle make me look dead inside? My company's going to start giving us random drug tests. I wonder which drugs we'll get?
I only have coffee at home to be able to get to the coffee at work My commute wouldn't be so bad if it didn't take me to work
Looking busy on a Friday is the hardest I work all week The hardest part of my job is pretending I like my job
My boss told me to have a good day so I went home Work is the new retirement
My company's fringe benefits include anxiety, depression and no insurace The meetings will continue until we discover why productivity is down
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