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Work is the new retirement Meetings: Where minutes are kept and hours are lost
The meetings will continue until we discover why productivity is down Maybe it's not Mondays, maybe it's your job that sucks
I think, therefore I'm overqualified Actually, you do have to be crazy to work here but, no, it doesn't help
I took my job to pursue my lifelong ambition of not starving to death If they hang motivational posters where you work, you probably have a job a robot will be doing soon
My boss told me to have a good day so I went home My company's going to start giving us random drug tests. I wonder which drugs we'll get?
My commute wouldn't be so bad if it didn't take me to work The only thing worse than being laid off from my job would be not being laid off
I can't even afford to take a staycation No one ever listened themself out of a job
I love my &%$#ing job and my job loves  &%$#ing me My boss is from the land down under. Hell
I work best with others when they leave me the hell alone I'm quitting my job to pursue my dream of not working there
My coworkers are like Christmas lights, none are too bright and some don’t even work Hire slow, Fire fast
The beatings will continue until morale improves Finally, the weekend! Now I can work on dreading Monday
Don’t complain your boss is stupid. It’s probably the reason you haven’t been fired Give a man food, he can eat for a day.  But give him a job and he can only eat for 30 minutes
Think I’ll reduce my effort at work to align with my pay Working here is like family - none of us get along
Committee: a group which keeps minutes and waste hours I haven’t been able to sleep. The boss has been around
There are worse things than working from home: 1.No job 2.No home I never get involved in office drama. Once I start it, I walk away
Today is the first day of the rest of your workweek I think I’m allergic to my job
My commute is getting so bad I’m almost glad to arrive at my job I had to leave my job for health reasons. I was sick of it
One who knows HOW will always have a job ...working for the one who knows WHY You don’t have to be crazy to work here. We train.
Don’t work really hard when your boss is nearby so you don’t set the bar too high People paid only enough to not quit will work only enough to not be fired
My office crush is the vending machine My job is mostly trying to figure out what my job is
At work they asked if I wanted to sign up for a 401k. I said no. I can't run that far Work is a necessary evil to be avoided -Mark Twain
To err is human. To forgive, is not company policy Why am I the only one impressed by the fact that I show up for work?
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