Miscellanea, page 2
Miscellanea, page 1 | 2 | 3
May all your weeds have shallow roots Grammar Cop says: Literally does not equal Figuratively
In my defense, what did you expect? If they can get you asking the wrong questions they don't have to worry about the answers. -Thomas Pynchon
Drunk with power: bad. Drunk with power tools: very bad Repair kit (duct tape)
The Great Words series: Schnitzel There is a skeleton inside you
(orange eyes peeking) If you’re happy and you know it, you’re self aware
Each day is a %&@$ gift! When all else fails, join the circus
Grammar Cop says: its does not equal it's emoticon shrug
Pretty sure lost socks come back as orphan tupperware lids Tomorrow: A mythical land where all chores are complete
No! They’re not “life hacks” they’re just household tips (zipper)
Prozac Lipstick: Lets you look great and feel great The Great Words series: Kerfuffle
What book made you cry as a teenager? For me it was Algebra II Like mom always said to me… What the hell is wrong with you?!
# There are two kinds of people. Those who see a hashtag and those who see a pound sign (cartoon eyes peeking)
Dad jokes? I think you mean rad jokes Someone’s therapist knows all about you
If you’re feeling down, park in a handicap space to hear lots of people say there’s nothing wrong with you Grammar Cop says: Apart does not equal A part
My daily step count would be a lot higher if it included all the steps I take looking for my phone I pay my taxes. Your move, billionaires
Yeah, well, you know, that’s just, like your opinion, man (Lebowski) There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many together. -Josh Billings
The Great Words series: Flabbergast My Yoda Sticker this is
It’s not a dad bod it’s a father figure If you keep buying more stuff to hold your stuff you have too much stuff
(droopy eyes peeking) Libraries: Yesterday's Internet
Leaving me a voicemail is like taping a note to a door I don’t use Aliens visit earth? No, they’d fly past and lock their doors
Grammar Cop says: Lose does not equal Loose The Great Words series: Thwart
If you took the plastic bottles in landfills and laid them all end-to-end you’d be able to keep putting off that thing you’re avoiding Think of a number between 1 and 10. Now think of why you do everything you’re told
There is no spoon (fork) Ironically, it turns out that the actual “adult” beverage is water
Math is like love; a simple idea that can get complicated (woman peeking through blinds)
The Great Words series: Pumpernickel Grammar Cop says: Apostrophe’s are not for plural’s
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