Miscellanea, page 2

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Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded
If I'm ever on life support, unplug me. Then plug me back in. See if that works I think it's time to consult the oracle
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you Grammar Cop says: Than does not equal Then
(Green eyes peeking) The book was better.
The universe doesn't divide time into days. It doesn't even divide it into time My other car is a Tardis
Feel free to feel free (Bacon)
The 4 building blocks of the universe: fire, water, gravel, vinyl Nostradamus predicted this Sticker
Teachers do it for the outcome not the income Deep Anagram #8 Listen Silent
We are all made of stars Not tonight, I'm reading
Happy Birthday. In lieu of a gift, I got you these 10,000 brightly colored pixels. Enjoy. Evolution is a theory. You know, like gravity
Grammar Cop says: Less does not equal fewer The first draft of anything is shit  -Ernest Hemingway
(eyes) Magic happens
I've decided I'll be cremated most likely after one of my home electrical repairs Hey, babies! Everything's not that fascinating!
None of this is real You are an inspiration to me for all the wrong reasons
Before having kids couples should be required to own a series of pets until they can prove they're too old to have kids What happens in the garage stays in the garage
Tip for hipsters: Never mind, you're too cool to need tips We are all ghosts
The beginning is near (green eyes peering)
Stores would lose less business to online retailers if they just let us drink wine while we shop
My assumptions about you are based on your assumptions about me I hear they're finally calling off the search for Waldo
Grammar Cop says: everyday ≠ every day Mental not to self: Real notes work better
Pro Tip: Limit yourself to two slices of pizza, dut the pie in half zombies>pirates+ninjas
iTired:  There's a nap for that With great power comes great responsibility (Spiderman)
Hard time demand furious dancing # There are two kinds of people. Those who see a hashtag and those who see a pound sign
(eyes peeking) Librarian: The original search engine
I think bed companies have way overestimated how many kings and queens live in the world No! They’re not “life hacks” they’re just household tips
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