Miscellanea, page 2
Miscellanea, page 1 | 2 | 3
When all else fails, join the circus Aliens visit earth? No, they’d fly past and lock their doors
Someone’s therapist knows all about you Grammar Cop says: Literally does not equal Figuratively
There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many together. -Josh Billings If you’re feeling down, park in a handicap space to hear lots of people say there’s nothing wrong with you
The Great Words series: Schnitzel There is a skeleton inside you
What book made you cry as a teenager? For me it was Algebra II If they can get you asking the wrong questions they don't have to worry about the answers. -Thomas Pynchon
My daily step count would be a lot higher if it included all the steps I take looking for my phone (cartoon eyes peeking)
Grammar Cop says: its does not equal it's If you’re happy and you know it, you’re self aware
(zipper) emoticon shrug
May all your weeds have shallow roots The Great Words series: Kerfuffle
There’s a secret menu item at all restaurants you can only get if you act like a total jerk Being your friend is like riding in a roller coaster with loose wheels
Each day is a %&@$ gift! I pay my taxes. Your move, billionaires
# There are two kinds of people. Those who see a hashtag and those who see a pound sign Like mom always said to me… What the hell is wrong with you?!
Drunk with power: bad. Drunk with power tools: very bad Grammar Cop says: Apart does not equal A part
(orange eyes peeking) There are times when everything will go well. But don’t let it scare you
Libraries: Yesterday's Internet No! They’re not “life hacks” they’re just household tips
Yeah, well, you know, that’s just, like your opinion, man (Lebowski) If you took the plastic bottles in landfills and laid them all end-to-end you’d be able to keep putting off that thing you’re avoiding
The Great Words series: Flabbergast My Yoda Sticker this is
When you apply to be a mother the only shift available is 24/7 If you keep buying more stuff to hold your stuff you have too much stuff
(woman peeking through blinds) Repair kit (duct tape)
Leaving me a voicemail is like taping a note to a door I don’t use The real you is how you act when you walk into a spider web
Grammar Cop says: Lose does not equal Loose The Great Words series: Thwart
My imaginary friend says you need a psychiatrist Think of a number between 1 and 10. Now think of why you do everything you’re told
Theiyr’re Ironically, it turns out that the actual “adult” beverage is water
There is no spoon (fork) Math is like love; a simple idea that can get complicated
The Great Words series: Pumpernickel Grammar Cop says: Apostrophe’s are not for plural’s
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