Miscellanea, page 3

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That's a terrible idea, what time? Grammar Cop says: Lose does not equal Loose
Money saving tip: Don't buy it! If 5-day weather forecasts were any good, they'd only give the weather every 5 days
(line drawing face) Science, now in verb!
In America if you work hard and sacrifice you can make big corporate CEOs very rich zombies>pirates+ninjas
If Mondays were shoes they'd be crocs Everybody's wrong
The universe doesn't divide time into days. It doesn't even divide it into time
Grammar Cop says: Alot ≠ A Lot ≠ Allot If I'm ever on life support, don't unplug me before I'm a size 4
(eye peeking) That's flattering, Smokey, but I'm hardly the ONLY one who can prevent forest fires
May the odds be ever in your favor Drumline kicks brass
In my defense, what did you expect? Like mom always said to me… What the hell is wrong with you?!
Portal to another dimension. Use with care. Grammar Cop says: its does not equal it's
With a gun, a man can rob a bank. With a bank, a man can rob everyone (circuit board)
If they can get you asking the wrong questions they don't have to worry about the answers. -Thomas Pynchon The most beautiful thing in the world cannot be touched or even seen according to this restraining order
Tea is liquid contentment Same as it ever was
The brand new emotion we're all feeling: Done (cartoon eyes peeking)
Life Hack: Turn your regular license plate into a vanity plate by naming your child after it Evolution: So easy, a caveman could do it
Know that feeling when your heart skips a beat? That’s arrhythmia. Go see a doctor I'm better than the movie!
Each day is a %&@$ gift! Librarian: The original search engine
Grammar Cop says: shoo-in, not shoe-in My daily step count would be a lot higher if it included all the steps I take looking for my phone
I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear -Martin Luther King, Jr. Charge here (USB port)
Good things will happen Not to you, maybe, but they’ll happen Pretty sure lost socks come back as orphan tupperware lids
My Yoda Sticker this is Silently correcting your grammar
If you keep buying more stuff to hold your stuff you have too much stuff If you’re happy and you know it, you’re self aware
These be crazy times Nothing to see here. Go about your business
The future has been postponed You don’t wash your hands, they wash each other
(Sunrise over mountain) Grammar Cop says: in to does not equal into
Think of a number between 1 and 10. Now think of why you do everything you’re told Someone’s therapist knows all about you
Don’t call it hot sauce. It wants to be considered intelligent sauce Mistakes were made
The Great Words series: Schnitzel emoticon shrug
(mannequin heads) I find your lack of grammar disturbing (Darth Vader)
The worst STD is KIDS Sorry we ruined everything -Boomers
May all your weeds have shallow roots Naysayers gonna say nay
Yeah, well, you know, that’s just, like your opinion, man (Lebowski) Science is not a conspiracy
forgiveness is overrated (Five 40s teenagers)
Hype always prevails Comfy Clothes, Messy Bun, Coffee On, Get It Done
Grammar Cop says: verbal does not equal oral Mental Health tip: Stand up. Stretch. Walk. Go to airport. Get on plane. Never return.
(eyes drooping) The Great Words series: Kerfuffle
1 out of 5 doctors disagree Leaving me a voicemail is like taping a note to a door I don’t use
Terry Jones 1942-2020 Kobe Bryant
If you took the plastic bottles in landfills and laid them all end-to-end you’d be able to keep putting off that thing you’re avoiding Kirk Douglas 1916–2020
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