Miscellanea, page 3

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What happens at grandma's house stays at grandma's house When I was a kid we had nine planets
This is a simulation Grammar Cop says: Apart does not equal A part
I saw that -Karma Magic has to be believed to be seen
(line drawing face) If 5-day weather forecasts were any good, they'd only give the weather every 5 days
Hands make a house Hearts make it a home
In America if you work hard and sacrifice you can make big corporate CEOs very rich Everybody's wrong
It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye. Then, hey, free eyeball! It's only a dream
Grammar Cop says: Literally does not equal Figuratively Science, now in verb!
That's a terrible idea, what time? May the odds be ever in your favor
Money saving tip: Don't buy it! If I'm ever on life support, don't unplug me before I'm a size 4
Don't believe astrology? Then find me one Leo that likes getting punched in the face Drumline kicks brass
Initiate robot uprising: OK  Cancel That's flattering, Smokey, but I'm hardly the ONLY one who can prevent forest fires
Tea is liquid contentment This sticker changes nothing
With a gun, a man can rob a bank. With a bank, a man can rob everyone (faces)
Portal to another dimension. Use with care. Comfy Clothes, Messy Bun, Coffee On, Get It Done
In my defense, what did you expect? If they can get you asking the wrong questions they don't have to worry about the answers. -Thomas Pynchon
An easy way to get out of jury duty is to be the defendant If Mondays were shoes they'd be crocs
Grammar Cop says: Lose does not equal Loose Hype always prevails
Know that feeling when your heart skips a beat? That’s arrhythmia. Go see a doctor Same as it ever was
Evolution: So easy, a caveman could do it I'm better than the movie!
The most beautiful thing in the world cannot be touched or even seen according to this restraining order Like mom always said to me… What the hell is wrong with you?!
The brand new emotion we're all feeling: Done (cartoon eyes peeking)
Life Hack: Turn your regular license plate into a vanity plate by naming your child after it The worst STD is KIDS
My Yoda Sticker this is Charge here (USB port)
Good things will happen Not to you, maybe, but they’ll happen I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear -Martin Luther King, Jr.
(circuit board) Grammar Cop says: Punctuation matters! I like cooking my family and my pets
An almond doesn't lactate Nothing to see here. Go about your business
Librarian: The original search engine The future has been postponed
emoticon shrug Pretty sure lost socks come back as orphan tupperware lids
Think of a number between 1 and 10. Now think of why you do everything you’re told (Sunrise over mountain)
(mannequin heads) These be crazy times
You don’t wash your hands, they wash each other Silently correcting your grammar
If you keep buying more stuff to hold your stuff you have too much stuff Grammar Cop says: Alot ≠ A Lot ≠ Allot
Each day is a %&@$ gift! (eye peeking)
My daily step count would be a lot higher if it included all the steps I take looking for my phone Mistakes were made
Don’t call it hot sauce. It wants to be considered intelligent sauce Mental Health tip: Stand up. Stretch. Walk. Go to airport. Get on plane. Never return.
Science is not a conspiracy Someone’s therapist knows all about you
If you’re happy and you know it, you’re self aware Yeah, well, you know, that’s just, like your opinion, man (Lebowski)
Grammar Cop says: its does not equal it's May all your weeds have shallow roots
Naysayers gonna say nay (Five 40s teenagers)
forgiveness is overrated The Great Words series: Schnitzel
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