Oh Those Humans, page 1

Oh Those Humans, page 1 | 2 | 3 | 4
My species disappoints me Everyone wants to shine but no one wants to polish
Someday we'll look back on this, laugh nervously, then change the subject. A fanatic is someone who won't change his mind and won't change the subject
How can you tell someone is vegan? Don't worry, they'll tell you Stop expecting everyone to agree
Closed minds always seem to be connected to open mouths Introverts: We're here, we're uncomfortable, we want to go home
Has anger solved your other problems? The Golden Rule: He who has the gold makes the rules
We teach kids that sex is dirty and shameful and they should save it for the one they love Anyone who agrees with everything you say is either a fool or getting ready to do you ill
All of God's children are not beautiful. Most, in fact, are barely presentable. -Fran Lebowitz Does the human race have a Yelp page? I want to give it a 1-star rating
It's all about money Liberty and Justice for All. (Not available in all areas)
Smokers are like anyone else, just not for as long I am offended by your use of the term "politically correct"
Everybody is somebody's weirdo Some of the worst people teach us some of the best lessons
You can fool some of the people all of the time and those are the ones to concentrate on. Don't overestimate the decency of the human race. -H.L. Mencken
You're a pretty good singer -alcohol Why do we buy things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people we don't like?
A sixpack is not a support group When you hold a grudge you're letting someone live rent-free in your head
Three can keep a secret if two are dead -Ben Franklin Dumb isn't cute
The best way to debate something is first decide you know best then yell at the other person until they give up If kindness could really kill, not many lives would be in danger
Those who know least obey best If you get home after midnight missing a shoe you're not Cinderella, you're drunk
Trying to contact outer space civilizations could be like the mouse beckoning a cat The public have an insatiable curiosity to know everything, except what is worth knowing. -Oscar Wilde
Mass movements can rise and spread without belief in a god, but never without belief in a devil -Eric Hoffer Some find a way. Some find an excuse.
It's always ourselves that we love the least Giving rights to other people takes none away from you. It's not pie
My great grandfather didn't cross an ocean to come here just to see his country overrun by immigrants Soylent Green is people, corporations are not
The only fool bigger than a know-it-all is the one who argues with him The most common craving of pregnant women is to no longer be pregnant
If we were meant to pop out of bed, we'd sleep in toasters Facts are potholes people avoid as they hurry to their opinions
Something we know about people: if they do it once, they'll do it again For most of history Anonymous was a woman
If we continue to accumulate only power and not wisdom, we will surely destroy ourselves -Carl Sagan No telling what things some people might accomplish if they wasted less time posting motivational quotes online
When many expect a mighty stallion they will find hooves on an ant -Terry Pratchett Why is a reporter out in the hurricane to tell me not to go out in the hurricane?
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