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My commute wouldn't be so bad if it didn't take me to work Meetings: Where minutes are kept and hours are lost
One who knows HOW will always have a job ...working for the one who knows WHY I have a sleep disorder where I wake up every morning and go to work
I think, therefore I'm overqualified I never get involved in office drama. Once I start it, I walk away
I took my job to pursue my lifelong ambition of not starving to death My company's going to start giving us random drug tests. I wonder which drugs we'll get?
You don’t have to be crazy to work here. We train. If they hang motivational posters where you work, you probably have a job a robot will be doing soon
Actually, you do have to be crazy to work here but, no, it doesn't help My boss is from the land down under. Hell
I can't even afford to take a staycation The only thing worse than being laid off from my job would be not being laid off
The meetings will continue until we discover why productivity is down I love my &%$#ing job and my job loves  &%$#ing me
I had to leave my job for health reasons. I was sick of it No one ever listened themself out of a job
I work best with others when they leave me the hell alone I'm one of the Working Dead
The beatings will continue until morale improves Hire slow, Fire fast
Maybe it's not Mondays, maybe it's your job that sucks My boss told me to have a good day so I went home
Give a man food, he can eat for a day.  But give him a job and he can only eat for 30 minutes Work is the new retirement
Finally, the weekend! Now I can work on dreading Monday Work is a necessary evil to be avoided -Mark Twain
See? We knew all those meetings could have just been emails! My new coworkers are cute but lazy
There are worse things than working from home: 1.No job 2.No home At work they asked if I wanted to sign up for a 401k. I said no. I can't run that far
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