Modern Thought, page 1

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For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism Chocolate fixes everything
A poor memory is not the same as a clear conscience Nothing ever looks like the picture
Insomnia is nature's way of telling you to get more done Playtime is never over
It's easier to get forgiveness than permission A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand
Good. Fast. Cheap. Choose two. Do unto others is bad advice to a masochist
A night is like a day without sunshine If a little is good, more is better, and too much is just right
Nothing is more dangerous than an idea when it's the only one you have The right side of the brain is for loading and unloading only
80% of success is showing up -Woody Allen Anything worth doing should have been done by now
Contrary to common belief, some bridges should most definitely be burned Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels except for bacon and donuts and pizza and...
Reality is where the pizza delivery guy comes from Actions speak louder than bumper stickers
History may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme a lot. -Mark Twain If you can smile when things go wrong you have someone iin mind to blame
If you can't fix it with a hammer it's an electrical problem You can tell a lot about a person by what kind of person they are
QUESTION AUTHORITY and the authorities will question you Stereotypes make life easier
Imitation is the sincerest form of copyright infringement Reality: Worst game ever
Ignorance is nine tenths of the law A synonym is a word you use in place of the one you can't spell
Just because no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist The future doesn't need us
Obsessed is how the lazy describe the dedicated Cleanliness is next to impossible
If you ain't different, you ain't normal Experience is what you get right after you need it
Enough is never enough PRIVACY IS HISTORY
The hardest thing about business is minding your own The power of accurate observation is often called cynicism by those who don't have it -George Bernard Shaw
The only thing we have to fear is clowns Being drunk is like having a 3rd base coach that waves you on no matter what
It's not convenience food if you can't reach it from bed Sex is hereditary. If your parents didn't have it, neither will you
A journey of 1000 miles begins with a cash advance Confessions are good for the soul but bad for the reputation
Expiration dates are for the weak Be a pessimist and all your surprises will be happy ones
Gardening is cheaper than therapy and you get tomatoes Porn gives an unrealistic view of how quickly a repairman will arrive at your door
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