Tribulations, page 2

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Monday is a rotten way to spend 1/7 of your life Of course I'm out of my mind, it's dark and scary in there!
Sorry. You've mistaken me for someone with potential Ahh, I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again
Same crap different day Just tell Nemo you couldn't find him because you were getting high. He'll understand.
I tried to child-proof the house but my kids found a way back in This was never fun
There is no bright side My imaginary friend filed a restraining order against me
Your arguments are subtly flawed Why me?
When did cake learn to talk, and how does it know my name? Why is there always so much month left at the end of the money?
This both sucks and blows All this pain and still no gain
My psychiatrist says I'm paranoid but he's just out to get me I despair, therefore oh, nevermind, it doesn't matter
Slave to the system Oh-oh. Time to repress another memory
The only problem with doing nothing, I never know when I'm done Eyelashes are to keep stuff out of your eye but half of what gets in there is eyelashes
I drink so much coffee because I don't get enough sleep because I drink so much coffee Do something right, no one remembers. Do something wrong, no one forgets
I have a steering wheel in my pants and it's driving me nuts You are being lied to
I got a new pair of skinny jeans, they're my old regular jeans They tell you to be yourself then they judge you for it
The system will eat you My mood ring isn't a fashion statement, it's a court order
Urinal cakes aren't really cakes I'm having an out-of-money experience
I've noticed a common thread in all my problems... me Each day is better than the next
Your television is hypnotizing you This would be funny if I wasn't clinically depressed
The worst part of Monday is hearing you complain about Mondays What's trickling down on us is not money
I wish I had tried Opportunity once knocked at my door but it was looking for someone else
Is everything that expensive or am I just that poor? Coffee isn't helping, get the jumper cables
So much to do, so few people to do it for me I had friends on that Death Star
Chocolate makes my clothes shrink I'm against protesting. I just don't know how to show it
The buck doesn't even slow down here I'm so stressed I'm getting on my own nerves
There aren't enough hours in the day to put off all the things I don't want to do Why do they want dinner every single night?
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