Tribulations, page 2

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Monday is a rotten way to spend 1/7 of your life Of course I'm out of my mind, it's dark and scary in there!
Sorry. You've mistaken me for someone with potential Ahh, I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again
Same crap different day Just tell Nemo you couldn't find him because you were getting high. He'll understand.
I tried to child-proof the house but my kids found a way back in This was never fun
must find a more suitable host body Why is there always so much month left at the end of the money?
Your arguments are subtly flawed There is no bright side
When did cake learn to talk, and how does it know my name? Why me?
Hope I never have to open my can of whoop ass on anyone (pretty sure it's expired) My imaginary friend filed a restraining order against me
This both sucks and blows Some days just suck
Slave to the system It's not the pants that make you look fat, it's the pastrami
I despair, therefore oh, nevermind, it doesn't matter The only problem with doing nothing, I never know when I'm done
I drink so much coffee because I don't get enough sleep because I drink so much coffee My psychiatrist says I'm paranoid but he's just out to get me
Do something right, no one remembers. Do something wrong, no one forgets You are being lied to
I got a new pair of skinny jeans, they're my old regular jeans Oh-oh. Time to repress another memory
The system will eat you All this pain and still no gain
Eyelashes are to keep stuff out of your eye but half of what gets in there is eyelashes I have a steering wheel in my pants and it's driving me nuts
This would be funny if I wasn't clinically depressed My mood ring isn't a fashion statement, it's a court order
Each day is better than the next I'm having an out-of-money experience
The worst part of Monday is hearing you complain about Mondays Your television is hypnotizing you
Opportunity once knocked at my door but it was looking for someone else They tell you to be yourself then they judge you for it
Is everything that expensive or am I just that poor? Urinal cakes aren't really cakes
I've noticed a common thread in all my problems... me I wish I had tried
I had friends on that Death Star I'm against protesting. I just don't know how to show it
Chocolate makes my clothes shrink I'm so stressed I'm getting on my own nerves
There aren't enough hours in the day to put off all the things I don't want to do So much to do, so few people to do it for me
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