Tribulations, page 4

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I think some of my choices may have been ill considered I spend like half my life looking for things I had just a minute ago
When I laugh too hard I cry a little in my panties Coffee isn't helping, get the jumper cables
I'm the leading cause of everything bad that happens to me The buck doesn't even slow down here
The satellites know you are reading this If by "happy" you mean clinically depressed... then, yes, I'm happy
We're screwed, with a capitol F All messed up and nowhere to go
I'm disappointed by this unforeseen turn of events A day on Venus lasts over 4800 hours the same as a Monday on Earth
This is not the future I expected I believe in paying my taxes with a smile. But they want cash
I put in contacts for this?! Cow pies aren't really pies!
I get worried if I have nothing to worry about I've got a lot not going for me
So many locks, so few keys Pardon me, which level of hell is this?
I fear things I don't understand I always forget how bad I am at remembering
Expectation is always my crime, disappointment my punishment This is the worst Monday since last Monday
Can't sleep, the clowns will get me You may already be doomed
This morning was terrific, right until I woke up Let's file this under emotionally scarring
What's trickling down on us is not money I can't remember what not tired feels like
We are all just a heart beat away from misery Why do they want dinner every single night?
Very close to faking my own death I find your lack of punctuation disturbing
Reality is ruining my life What we have doesn't work
Same circus different clowns Damned if you do bored if you don't
I was hoping I'd run out of things to be disillusioned about by now I'm going out of my mind! Please hold my place til I get back
Best or not, laughter is the only medicine I can still afford Reach for the stars? I'm too lazy to even reach for the remote
I think my peak was in preschool These are hard times for dreamers
The only thing I never seem to put off is procrastination Harvard didn't even accept my application
No one ever expects the Spanish Inquisition!! Dear brain, give it a rest
Note to future self: Sorry I made things so tough for you The first five days after the weekend are the hardest
We're all just helper monkeys for the super rich The only thing worse than a cold toilet seat is a warm one
I can't bring myself to delete any episodes of Hoarders Thought loading. Please wait.
I'm disappointed by this unforeseen turn of events I had too much to dream last night
I'm already tired tomorrow The chains on my mood swing are ready to snap
One day I'll buy a plant that has the will to live My bad decisions haunt me
If each day is a gift today was underpants I think therefore I am a nervous wreck these days!
I think I just heard the first thundercrack of the apocalypse I pay a monthly gym membership fee as reminder of my poor decisionmaking
Your dryer isn't shrinking your clothes, your refrigerator is It's always a little later than you think
Ramen noodles taste like payday is a week away So many rooms, so few clues what I came in for
The worst thing about mornings is morning people My closest friends stopped talking to me just because I'm taking anti-psychotic drugs
This appears to be unproductive The trouble is, you think you have time
I'd start working out but I don't have a good Before picture yet Due to circumstances beyond my control I am here
There's no bottom to this barrel You morning people are creating a hostile work environment for the rest of us
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