Declarations, page 1

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I've seen normal, it ain't pretty I'm not as think as you confused I am
I liked homework better when it was coloring I would never lead you astray. I reserve the right, however, to follow you there
I'd be a morning person if it didn't start so early in the day If it weren't for the gutter, my mind would be homeless
I just walked 50 miles over the last few decades You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because the Zorgons command it
My favorite color is chocolate I must hurry, for there they go and I am their leader
the TV told me to do it I TALK TO STRANGERS
I'm Canadian. It's like American but without a gun I haven't failed - I've just gloriously not succeeded
I am in shape. Round is a shape I like toast
My mind's made up please don't confuse me with the facts I'll believe that corporations are people when Texas executes one
Currently unsupervised My only hope for ever having a hot, smoking body is cremation
I'm on the ABE diet. Anything but exercise I'm nicer in person
WARNING I don't remember anything before coffee My imperfections only make me more adorable
Sometimes I feel like I'm wasting my life, then something good comes on TV and I'm over it
Yes, I talk to myself but only when I need expert advice Adrenalin is my drug of choice
Today I'm going to give it my some Yes I am an agent of Satan but my duties are largely ceremonial
I'm only here until I achieve escape velocity I bitch therefore I am
Reality is nice but I wouldn't want to live there FYI, if it's ever me... pull the plug!
I'm not even trying My life is full of unsuffered consequences
Popcorn is my favorite exploding food Financially, I'm set for life, provided I die next week
Going camping is a great reminder of how much I hate to go camping I blame society
I brake for hobbits I love vinyl
How do I take my coffee? Very seriously I have a hunch that nobody says hunch anymore
Warning: If I become bored things could get dangerous The only thing that keeps me from exercising is not wanting to
I'd be a vegetarian if bacon were a vegetable Coffee is so much better when no one talks while you drink it
I didn't do it. You can't prove it. Nobody saw me. The sheep are lying.
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