Declarations, page 1

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I've seen normal, it ain't pretty I'm not as think as you confused I am
I liked homework better when it was coloring I would never lead you astray. I reserve the right, however, to follow you there
I'd be a morning person if it didn't start so early in the day If it weren't for the gutter, my mind would be homeless
I just walked 50 miles over the last few decades I must hurry, for there they go and I am their leader
I TALK TO STRANGERS My favorite color is chocolate
the TV told me to do it I'm Canadian. It's like American but without a gun
My mind's made up please don't confuse me with the facts I haven't failed - I've just gloriously not succeeded
I am in shape. Round is a shape I like toast
I'm nicer in person I'll believe that corporations are people when Texas executes one
Sometimes I feel like I'm wasting my life, then something good comes on TV and I'm over it My only hope for ever having a hot, smoking body is cremation
I bitch therefore I am My imperfections only make me more adorable
WARNING I don't remember anything before coffee Financially, I'm set for life, provided I die next week
Today I'm going to give it my some
Yes, I talk to myself but only when I need expert advice Adrenalin is my drug of choice
My life is full of unsuffered consequences Yes I am an agent of Satan but my duties are largely ceremonial
I blame society How do I take my coffee? Very seriously
Going camping is a great reminder of how much I hate to go camping Reality is nice but I wouldn't want to live there
I'm not even trying I have no opinions
Popcorn is my favorite exploding food Going out sounds good except for the going out part
The only thing that keeps me from exercising is not wanting to I love vinyl
I'd be a vegetarian if bacon were a vegetable It infuriates me to be wrong when I know I'm right. -Moliere
I dream about naps I have a hunch that nobody says hunch anymore
Proudly Serving my corporate masters
On an atomic level I'm very busy Coffee is so much better when no one talks while you drink it
I didn't do it. You can't prove it. Nobody saw me. The sheep are lying. I'm not really a bumper sticker kind of person
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