Declarations, page 4

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I feel better now that I've given up hope I tried being normal once. It didn't work out
Will work for shoes I don't do Mondays
I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right terrorists don't scare me. Somebody seeing my TSA body scan, that scares me.
I don't roll on Shabbas I like big books and i cannot lie
I love you just the way I am Insanity doesn't run in my family, it gallops
I went to the gym but came back because I forgot something... I hate exercise I avoid anything which might contradict my narrow worldview
I'm not overweight, I'm undertall Pudding can't fill the emptiness inside me but it will help
I'm not perfect but parts of me are fantastic I'm mad as hell and I'm likely to take it indefinitely
No matter how cynical I get it never seems to be enough When I'm sad I give myself a little hug. Which is easy in this jacket I'm buckled in
I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one. I feel sullied and unusual
It's not denial, I'm just selective about the reality that I accept Not wearing pants
There's nothing passive about my aggression I think therefore I doubt
Making it up as I go along I could never run a marathon I couldn't be off my phone that long
I don't always drink beer, but when I do I think I'm the most interesting man in the world I'm not dumb, I'm big-boned
I'm on the cutting edge of mediocrity I don't make trouble but I know where to find it
I think I was a king in a previous life because I like people to do what I say If I ever have an out-of-body experience I sure wouldn't come back to this one
My superpower is ignoring my faults so I can focus on other people's I'm kind of a big ordeal
First I drink the coffee then I do the things I was once the world's youngest person
I'm always in a good mood until I wake up I'm on a diet where I eat whatever I want. I'm not losing weight but at least I finally found one I can stay on
My excercise philosophy is No pain, No pain There's no excuse for laziness but I'm looking for one
I didn't come this far to only come this far my friends are great because with them I don't look like the crazy one
My alone time is for your safety I don't flirt with disaster, it's more like we're going steady
I break for lunch I came, I saw, I want to go home
I don't really have an opinion and I wanted to let you know I was trying so hard to forget something and now I can't remember what it was
I'm training a new human to be a good person, what's your super power? My favorite salad is tomatoes made into sauce on a pepperoni pizza
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