Declarations, page 4

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I feel better now that I've given up hope I tried being normal once. It didn't work out
Will work for shoes I don't do Mondays
I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right terrorists don't scare me. Somebody seeing my TSA body scan, that scares me.
I don't roll on Shabbas I like big books and i cannot lie
I like TV Insanity doesn't run in my family, it gallops
We're about as similar as two completely dissimilar things in a pod I went to the gym but came back because I forgot something... I hate exercise
robots fear me Pudding can't fill the emptiness inside me but it will help
I'm not overweight, I'm undertall I avoid anything which might contradict my narrow worldview
Profanity saves my sanity I'm not perfect but parts of me are fantastic
I love you just the way I am I'm mad as hell and I'm likely to take it indefinitely
No matter how cynical I get it never seems to be enough I feel sullied and unusual
I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one. When I'm sad I give myself a little hug. Which is easy in this jacket I'm buckled in
I make prank calls to my OnStar I fake it
There's nothing passive about my aggression It's not denial, I'm just selective about the reality that I accept
I don't always drink beer, but when I do I think I'm the most interesting man in the world I think I was a king in a previous life because I like people to do what I say
I love my daughther I love my son
Making it up as I go along I'm waiting for the next big thing
I'm not dumb, I'm big-boned I flirt with danger
I'm the quiet neighbor with the big freezer The only magic i believe in is you
I think therefore I doubt My superpower is ignoring my faults so I can focus on other people's
I love my dad I love my mom
I was once the world's youngest person I could never run a marathon I couldn't be off my phone that long
Not wearing pants I make stuff up
I should have been a cowboy First I drink the coffee then I do the things
I'm on the cutting edge of mediocrity I don't make trouble but I know where to find it
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