Declarations, page 3

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I like pie Fun fact: there are no fun facts about me
I have opinions about things!
If I ever have an out-of-body experience I sure wouldn't come back to this one My favorite outdoor activity is to go back inside
My mom says I'm cool Both of us can't look good at the same time... it's me or the house
I didn't do it and I won't do it again I smell an epiphany
I'm not procrastinating, I'm avoiding I'm not afraid of the dark, I'm afraid of all the things hiding in the dark
My convictions are bumper sticker deep I used to be disgusted now I'm just amused
I have this fun party trick where I don’t go Will work for hundreds of thousands of dollars
I am not responsible for your happiness I'm great in bed. I could sleep all day
Conformity makes me comfortable I used to be cool
I march in the army of forgotten souls I'm the kind of person my parents want me to stay away from
The best time to talk to me on a Monday is Tuesday I have CDO. It's like OCD, but the letters are in proper, alphabetical order
I don’t think much therefore I might not be What others take 2 hours to do I can do in a single day
I like to give advice. It's how I test it before using it myself My favorite machine at the gym is that one with the snacks
My favorite way to exercise is not to I came. I saw. I left early.
Of all the things I've lost I miss my keys the most I'm open to changing my mind, I'm just not going to
My home security system is owning crappy stuff It's not denial, I'm just selective about the reality that I accept
Whatever it is, I'm against it I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right
I'm not insane, my mother had me tested I am not anti-social I am selectively social
If you think I'm a bitch, allow me to introduce you to my mother I used to care, but they have pills for that now
I can see infinity from my house I don't roll on Shabbas
I love the smell of possibility in the morning My favorite yoga pose is Couch Potato
I plan to stay in tonight and all the nights I'm mad as hell and I'm likely to take it indefinitely
I think, therefore I'm dangerous Of course I can keep a secret. It’s the people I tell it to who can’t
I'm trying to be a more positive person. Today I'm positive that will never happen When I start a diet, the second day is easier because I’m off it by then
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