Modern Thought, page 4
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Money always wins The past is like the future with the lights on
History may not repeat itself but it does rhyme a lot. -Mark Twain One day at a time is sometimes way too fast
A paper cut is the tree’s small revenge Inside every small problem is a larger problem waiting for you to let it out
A poor memory is not the same as a clear conscience A pessimist is an optimist with more complete information
Silence is golden, unless you have young kids, then it’s suspicious A watched pot will eventually get paranoid
Friends are god's apology for relatives Good. Fast. Cheap. Choose two.
If you really “did it like a boss” other people did it for you and you just took the credit When camping, the best way to avoid Bigfoot is to carry a reliable camera
Karma has no deadlines Coffee is so much better when no one talks while you drink it
Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else have your way Parties: For when you want to clean up twice in 12 hours
Weddings aren’t GAY or straight ...just a waste of money that could have been used for a down payment No one can make a fool of you. It's a do-it-yourself kind of thing
When one door closes... open it. It's a door. That's how they work. A rumor without a leg to stand on will get around some other way
If you’re happy and you know it, it’s your meds A father is a banker provided by nature -French proverb
You're only as good as your made up resume says you are Anything is funnier if you’re not allowed to laugh at it
The key to any relationship is sincerity Once you can fake that the rest is easy The future doesn't need us
Good judgment is gained from experience which is often gained from bad judgment Insanity is saying the same thing over and over and expecting your kids to listen
Tomorrow will be better. Or worse. Maybe the same. Chocolate fixes everything
What doesn’t kill you sometimes makes you wish it had If you can’t handle someone at their worst you may have very healthy boundaries
An actual nonstop flight would be dreadful Anything can be funny if it happens to someone else
Every day is a gift of unreturnable things you didn’t ask for Compromise is the satisfactory distribution of dissatisfaction
Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles -Pythagoras The obscure, we see eventually. The completely obvious, it seems, takes longer -Edward R. Murrow
Leftovers are for quitters Having weird parents builds character
You don’t wash your hands, they wash each other There is no such thing as too many tools
Sunrise is the perfect light for revealing bad decisions The early bird gets the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese
Reality is where the pizza delivery guy comes from The biggest corporate lies are the serving size on food packages
Only a proton can stay positive all the time Naps - solving problems since forever
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