Modern Thought, page 5

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If you don't have a Plan B, you don't have a plan For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism
History may not repeat itself but it does rhyme a lot. -Mark Twain Silence is golden, unless you have young kids, then  it’s suspicious
Chocolate fixes everything Good things come to those who wait but bad things show up right away
Karma has no deadlines Naps - solving problems since forever
Weddings aren’t GAY or straight ...just a waste of money that could have been used for a down payment Anything is funnier if you’re not allowed to laugh at it
When you step on toes, you make them eager to kick your butt Leftovers are for quitters
PASTE ALT HERE Inside every small problem is a larger problem waiting for you to let it out
When life gives you lemonade… make lemons. Life will be all like, WHAT?! The future doesn't need us
Everything we hear is only opinion. Everything we see is only perspective If you ain't different, you ain't normal
Parties: For when you want to clean up twice in 12 hours A rumor without a leg to stand on will get around some other way
The key to any relationship is sincerity Once you can fake that the rest is easy When one door closes... open it. It's a door. That's how they work.
Language was invented because stones and clubs didn’t hurt enough The past is like the future with the lights on
Alcohol is the answer when the question is, “What is, C2H6O?” Everybody has a perfect memory when it’s something they’d rather forget
It’s best to confront your fears (unless you fear bears) Friends are god's apology for relatives
You never  know what you have until you check your fridge Reality doesn't care about your beliefs
Laughter is not the best medicine for incontinence A paper cut is the tree’s small revenge
Anything can be funny if it happens to someone else Insanity is saying the same thing over and over and expecting your kids to listen
Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles -Pythagoras Procrastination is a dish best served tomorrow
Leaving a store and taking my mask off is the new getting home and taking my bra off Any restaurant is a drive thru if you’re determined enough
Good. Fast. Cheap. Choose two. A watched pot will eventually get paranoid
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