Men & Women, page 4

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Marriage? Why buy the pig just to get a little sausage? I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. Then it was too late
Men won't read instructions, women won't follow them Love is being stupid together
A bisexual is a man who likes women as much as the next guy Never cut off your hair over a man -Sheryl Crow
Divorce is expensive because it's worth it I always wanted a really hot body so... thanks, menopause!
Any woman with a big fat ass should leave him It's not that I can't commit, I just want to be sure there isn't someone else better out there
Marriage is a personal decision, not a national one Men are like parking spaces. That is, if parking spaces are selfish bastards
Women spend more time thinking about what men think than men spend actually thinking Love is a malady easily cured by marriage
Losing a husband can be hard, sometimes nearly impossible The average woman's eyes are located approximately 1.5 seconds after her boobs
Call no man unhappy until he is married -Socrates Why di the man cross the road? Who knows, why the hell do they do anything?
I married Miss Right before I knew her first name was Always No matter where I am, the only place I want to be is closer to you
Whenever I meet a man I think would be a good husband, he usually is We got married for better or worse; he couldn't do better, I couldn't do worse
To get a man to do something, suggest that he's too old for it Cleavage is like the sun, you can glance but don't stare
If you love someone, let them go. If they don't come back, call them later when you're drunk All I want is somebody whose demons will play nice with mine
Does this patriarchy make my ass look fat? Empowered women empower women
Nothing makes a beautiful woman less attractive than ugly grammar For 28 years, my wife and I were happy and then we met
Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them Men are taught to apologize for their weaknesses, women for their strengths
Nice guys finish last If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry -Chekov
Men, don't say anything to a woman at work you wouldn't want a man to say to you in prison #MeToo
It’s weird how my wife starts conversations with: You weren’t even listening, were you? 60% of marriage is shouting what? from another room
Damn, boy, you must be a bank because I want you to leave me a loan Love isn't blind, it's brain damaged
I live in a correctional facility: my wife is always correcting me It wasn’t Eve. It wasn’t Yoko. Stop blaming women
Real Men DO Sparkle Better to have loved and lost than to stay with that psycho
A woman has the last word in any argument. What a man says after that begins a new argument Let me explain to you why “mansplaining” isn’t really a thing
Marriage teaches you how many wrong ways there are to do things God made Adam and Eve not angry homophobes
Sawdust is man glitter Being single means never having to clear your browser history
In regard to women, a very wise man once said… nothing A woman’s place is in the resistance (Princess Leia)
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