Men & Women, page 4

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Marriage? Why buy the pig just to get a little sausage? I want a sensitive man. One who'll cry when I punch him
I'm a chick magnet but my polarity is reversed Love is like an hourglass; the heart fills up as the brain empites -Jules Renard
I have a trophy wife. Just not first place God gave men two heads but didn't put a brian in either one
To meet me, you have to be interesting. To talk to me, you have to be smart. To date me, you have to be kidding. If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry -Chekov
Men are just the same as women except men are bastards A woman is always younger than a man of equal years. -Elizabeth Barrett Browning
Devil woman Love can survive anything but neglect
Behind every successful man there is a woman rolling her eyes It appears your maintenance level is higher than you let on
I always wanted a really hot body so... thanks, menopause! Low cut blouses are looked down on around here
I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. Then it was too late For sale: Encyclopedia. Just got married. Wife knows everything
Cleavage is like the sun, you can glance but don't stare Is it sexy in here or is it just me?
A bisexual is a man who likes women as much as the next guy I liked it better when men made the decisions and women made the coffee
Divorce is expensive because it's worth it I still miss my ex-husband, but my aim will improve.
Whenever I meet a man I think would be a good husband, he usually is Any woman with a big fat ass should leave him
The Goddess Estrogen rules the world My feminine side is a lesbian
Never cut off your hair over a man -Sheryl Crow Men won't read instructions, women won't follow them
Some girls turn heads. I break necks Women spend more time thinking about what men think than men spend actually thinking
A woman's place is in control No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes
I wish my computer had as much memory as my wife Call no man unhappy until he is married -Socrates
If God intended women to run, He wouldn't have given us all the bouncy parts The average woman's eyes are located approximately 1.5 seconds after her boobs
American marriage: A sacred lifetime commitment of, on average, 5 years Love is being stupid together
Love is a malady easily cured by marriage Never marry for money. You can borrow it cheaper -Scottish proverb
Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them Why di the man cross the road? Who knows, why the hell do they do anything?
Men are like parking spaces. That is, if parking spaces are selfish bastards It's not that I can't commit, I just want to be sure there isn't someone else better out there
Protect the sanctimony of marriage
Losing a husband can be hard, sometimes nearly impossible If you love someone, let them go. If they come back, try not to look too surprised
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