Men & Women, page 4

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Marriage? Why buy the pig just to get a little sausage? I want a sensitive man. One who'll cry when I punch him
I'm a chick magnet but my polarity is reversed Love is like an hourglass; the heart fills up as the brain empites -Jules Renard
I have a trophy wife. Just not first place God gave men two heads but didn't put a brian in either one
If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry -Chekov A woman is always younger than a man of equal years. -Elizabeth Barrett Browning
I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. Then it was too late Men are just the same as women except men are bastards
Love can survive anything but neglect It appears your maintenance level is higher than you let on
Behind every successful man there is a woman rolling her eyes Low cut blouses are looked down on around here
I always wanted a really hot body so... thanks, menopause! A bisexual is a man who likes women as much as the next guy
Any woman with a big fat ass should leave him For sale: Encyclopedia. Just got married. Wife knows everything
If you love someone, let them go. If they come back, try not to look too surprised Men won't read instructions, women won't follow them
The Goddess Estrogen rules the world I liked it better when men made the decisions and women made the coffee
Divorce is expensive because it's worth it A woman's place is in control
Whenever I meet a man I think would be a good husband, he usually is Love is a malady easily cured by marriage
The average woman's eyes are located approximately 1.5 seconds after her boobs Women spend more time thinking about what men think than men spend actually thinking
Never cut off your hair over a man -Sheryl Crow Never marry for money. You can borrow it cheaper -Scottish proverb
Why di the man cross the road? Who knows, why the hell do they do anything?
I wish my computer had as much memory as my wife No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes
Does this patriarchy make my life look less important? Men are like parking spaces. That is, if parking spaces are selfish bastards
To get a man to do something, suggest that he's too old for it Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them
American marriage: A sacred lifetime commitment of, on average, 5 years Love is being stupid together
My feminine side is a lesbian No matter where I am, the only place I want to be is closer to you
If God intended women to run, He wouldn't have given us all the bouncy parts All I want is somebody whose demons will play nice with mine
It's not that I can't commit, I just want to be sure there isn't someone else better out there Protect the sanctimony of marriage
We got married for better or worse; he couldn't do better, I couldn't do worse Losing a husband can be hard, sometimes nearly impossible
Cleavage is like the sun, you can glance but don't stare Empowered women empower women
Love isn't blind, it's brain damaged Call no man unhappy until he is married -Socrates
If you love someone, let them go. If they don't come back, call them later when you're drunk Does this patriarchy make my ass look fat?
Nice guys finish last Nothing makes a beautiful woman less attractive than ugly grammar
It’s weird how my wife starts conversations with: You weren’t even listening, were you? #MeToo
Men are taught to apologize for their weaknesses, women for their strengths Men, don't say anything to a woman at work you wouldn't want a man to say to you in prison
Damn, boy, you must be a bank because I want you to leave me a loan 60% of marriage is shouting what? from another room
I married Miss Right before I knew her first name was Always
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