Modern Thought, page 2

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Ignorance is just knowledge you didn't know you don't have The police never think it's as funny as you do
Strangers candy is the sweetest It takes a big man to cry but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man
The truth will set you free but first it will piss you off When life gives you lemons... shut up and eat your damn lemons!
It ain't a party til something gets broken Exercise, the poor man's plastic surgery
A pun is the lowest form of humor, when you don't think of it first. Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects. _Will Rogers The favorite tie attracts the gravy.
Reality doesn't give a damn about your beliefs Those who can only spell a word one way lack imagination
It's easier to resist temptation when you know it'll still be there later Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed
Depression: Anger without enthusiasm Alchohol preserves everything but dignity
Coffee is always a good idea No one can make a fool of you. It's a do-it-yourself proposition
Time is an annoying concept contrived by linear minds It isn't homework unless it's due tomorrow
Brands are for Cattle The obscure we see eventually. The completely obvious, it seems, takes longer. -Edward R. Murrow
It's all fun and games until somebody gets the cone The remaining work increases as the deadline approaches
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are -Gore Vidal If you're not part of the solution, there's good money in prolonging the problem
Reality is where bad things happen Tomorrow is the second day of the rest of your life
Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once If you can't say something nice you're probably not really trying
The grass may be greener on the other side of the fence but the water bill is higher Where there's a whip there's a way
Suicide: a permanent solution to a temporary problem It's easy to make people laugh, especially when you don't want them to
Change is inevitable, progress is optional The past is like the future with the lights on
There will always be somebody to say you can't... so don't Live like you'll die tomorrow is advice that would get most people into real trouble
A smart lawyer knows the law, a smarter one knows the judge When life gives you lemons, hey, free lemons!
A closed mouth gathers no feet All you need is love All you want is sex All you get is porn
Sometimes you play the game, other times the game plays you There's always free cheese in a mousetrap
Today's greatest labor-saving device is tomorrow Thursday is like getting to second base with the weekend
Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional There's a fine line between caution and paranoia
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