Modern Thought, page 2

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Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once Change is inevitable, progress is optional
The truth will set you free but first it will piss you off The police never think it's as funny as you do
The remaining work increases as the deadline approaches Exercise, the poor man's plastic surgery
A smart lawyer knows the law, a smarter one knows the judge Alchohol preserves everything but dignity
Ignorance is just knowledge you didn't know you don't have The obscure we see eventually. The completely obvious, it seems, takes longer. -Edward R. Murrow
It isn't homework unless it's due tomorrow Murphy was overly optimistic
It's easier to resist temptation when you know it'll still be there later There's always free cheese in a mousetrap
Those who can only spell a word one way lack imagination A closed mouth gathers no feet
The favorite tie attracts the gravy There is no such thing as fun for the whole family
Today's greatest labor-saving device is tomorrow Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once
Coffee is always a good idea A hammock is a net that captures tranquility
It's all fun and games until somebody gets the cone Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects. _Will Rogers
When life gives you lemons, hey, free lemons! Mediocre is the new excellent
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are -Gore Vidal Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional
Brands are for Cattle Wondering if you're happy is a great shortcut to being depressed
Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation Sacred Cows make the best burgers
Beauty is only skin deep and that is quite sufficient Time is an annoying concept contrived by linear minds
Junk is the unused stuff you've had for years and won't need until you throw it out The cutest kitten has the sharpest claws
Pessimists are just reformed optimists Anything is possible with the right attitude and some duct tape
Cheese: Milk’s attempt at immortality There's a fine line between caution and paranoia
To be number one you've got to be odd Napping can prevent aging if you do it while driving
Originality is the art of concealing your sources A party tonight is better than a party tomorrow night
A book makes a chair more comfortable Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand
Money can't buy you happiness but it'll let you be unhappy in nicer places Opportunities always look bigger going than coming
It's easier to stay out of trouble than to get out invite a clown expect a circus
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