Modern Thought, page 3

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Good judgment comes from experience and much of that comes from bad judgment Coffee makes it possible to get out of bed. Chocolate makes it worthwhile
Originality is the art of concealing your sources Opportunity only knocks once. But temptation leans on the doorbell.
No good deed goes unpunished Adversity is easier to bear when it's someone else's
A rumor without a leg to stand on will get around some other way Good things come to those who wait but bad things show up right away
Tact is for those who lack the wit for sarcasm A pessimist is what an optimist calls a realist
There's no I in Team, but there're four in Platitude-Quoting Idiot Being part of the solution is for people not cool enough to be part of the problem
A party tonight is better than a party tomorrow night It's only a gambling problem when you lose
The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned
If it fits on a bumper sticker it's not a philosophy If it can't fit on a bumper sticker, it's not a philosophy
Opportunities always look bigger going than coming Money can't buy you happiness but it'll let you be unhappy in nicer places
It's easier to stay out of trouble than to get out Friends may come and go but enemies accumulate
God cannot alter the past. That is the historians' job Happiness is good health and a bad memory
the good thing about a fatal mistake is you're certain to not make it again Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else have your way
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example -Mark Twain Trying is the first step toward faliure
invite a clown expect a circus Laughter is the best medicine. That is, after all the real medicines
A bagel is a donut with the guilt removed Opposites Attack
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand A psychotic is a guy who just found out what's going on. -William S. Burroughs
Being a grown up should never be more than a part time job A book makes a chair more comfortable
Naps - solving problems since forever Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance: The 5 stages of waking up
You can't have everything. Where would you put it? Perfectionism: A propensity to be displeased with everything
Anything can be funny if it happens to someone else If you think money can't buy happiness you're not spending enough of it
Smart is the new skinny Sitting is the new smoking
Excuses weigh about 15 pounds Guns don't kill people, it's mostly the bullets
Give a man a fish and he'll be, like, WTF? Some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue
Corporations are people too It's never too late to give up
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