Modern Thought, page 5

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If you don't have a Plan B, you don't have a plan For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism
Naps - solving problems since forever Silence is golden, unless you have young kids, then  it’s suspicious
Chocolate fixes everything Good things come to those who wait but bad things show up right away
Karma has no deadlines When one door closes... open it. It's a door. That's how they work.
Weddings aren’t GAY or straight ...just a waste of money that could have been used for a down payment Leftovers are for quitters
When you step on toes, you make them eager to kick your butt Inside every small problem is a larger problem waiting for you to let it out
PASTE ALT HERE If you ain't different, you ain't normal
When life gives you lemonade… make lemons. Life will be all like, WHAT?! The future doesn't need us
Everything we hear is only opinion. Everything we see is only perspective Everybody has a perfect memory when it’s something they’d rather forget
Parties: For when you want to clean up twice in 12 hours A rumor without a leg to stand on will get around some other way
The key to any relationship is sincerity Once you can fake that the rest is easy Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles -Pythagoras
Language was invented because stones and clubs didn’t hurt enough Reality doesn't care about your beliefs
Insanity is saying the same thing over and over and expecting your kids to listen The past is like the future with the lights on
It’s best to confront your fears (unless you fear bears) Lack of ambition is a real timesaver
Leaving a store and taking my mask off is the new getting home and taking my bra off A paper cut is the tree’s small revenge
Good. Fast. Cheap. Choose two. Sunrise is the perfect light for revealing bad decisions
An exclamation point is like laughing at your own joke -F. Scott Fitzgerald Anything can be funny if it happens to someone else
Packages of batteries should be labeled “Gift not included” Laughter is not the best medicine for incontinence
Any restaurant is a drive thru if you’re determined enough Friends are god's apology for relatives
Better Late than having to be there the whole time A watched pot will eventually get paranoid
There is no such thing as too many tools Procrastination is a dish best served tomorrow
If life were fair, sarcasm would burn calories A pessimist is someone who has heard one too many optimists
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