Modern Thought, page 5
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If you don't have a Plan B, you don't have a plan For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism
Opportunity always looks bigger behind you than ahead of you Success requires hard work so, there goes that idea
There is no excuse for the pronunciation of colonel There is no such thing as too many tools
What doesn’t kill you sometimes makes you wish it had PASTE ALT HERE
Common sense, like deodorant, is noticed most when it isn't used Anything can be funny if it happens to someone else
Better Late than having to be there the whole time If at first you don't succeed, redefine success
It’s not hoarding if it’s books An exclamation point is like laughing at your own joke -F. Scott Fitzgerald
Life comes without instructions, that's why we have fathers Packages of batteries should be labeled “Gift not included”
Parties: For when you want to clean up twice in 12 hours If life were fair, sarcasm would burn calories
Now is the new later Art is anything you can get away with. -Andy Warhol
The future doesn't need us No good deed goes unpunished
Expensive paintings are just trading cards for the rich The worst vice is advice
Laughter is not the best medicine for incontinence Sometimes a road is less traveled for a good reason
If you ain't different, you ain't normal The difference between in-laws and outlaws: outlaws are wanted
Procrastination is a dish best served tomorrow Having weird parents builds character
The best way to save face is to keep the lower part of it shut Coffee is so much better when no one talks while you drink it
An acquaintance is just a friend you haven't scared away yet Any pizza is a personal pizza if you believe in yourself
Sleep is a poor substitute for coffee Junk is the unused stuff you've had for years and won't need until you throw it out
Everything in moderation unless no one is looking Compromise is the satisfactory distribution of dissatisfaction
Reality is where bad things happen College memories last forever I mean student loan payments
Only a proton can stay positive all the time Sooner or later we all quote our mothers
The first thing to have instant replay was books The obscure, we see eventually. The completely obvious, it seems, takes longer -Edward R. Murrow
If you’re not worried, you’re not paying attention Mediocre is the new excellent
The biggest corporate lies are the serving size on food packages If there's something you don't want to do, call it Phase Two
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