Modern Thought, page 5

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If you don't have a Plan B, you don't have a plan For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism
Good things come to those who wait but bad things show up right away Good. Fast. Cheap. Choose two.
A pessimist is an optimist with more complete information An actual nonstop flight would be dreadful
Insomnia is nature's way of telling you to get more done When you step on toes, you make them eager to kick your butt
PASTE ALT HERE Procrastination is a dish best served tomorrow
There is no such thing as too many tools Any restaurant is a drive thru if you’re determined enough
It’s best to confront your fears (unless you fear bears) Laughter is not the best medicine for incontinence
Insanity is saying the same thing over and over and expecting your kids to listen An exclamation point is like laughing at your own joke -F. Scott Fitzgerald
Packages of batteries should be labeled “Gift not included” If you’re happy and you know it, it’s your meds
If you ain't different, you ain't normal The future doesn't need us
Parties: For when you want to clean up twice in 12 hours The first thing to have instant replay was books
If life were fair, sarcasm would burn calories Better Late than having to be there the whole time
Common sense, like deodorant, is noticed most when it isn't used Expensive paintings are just trading cards for the rich
Anything can be funny if it happens to someone else There is no excuse for the pronunciation of colonel
If at first you don't succeed, redefine success
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