Modern Thought, page 4
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Good. Fast. Cheap. Choose two. Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional
Chocolate fixes everything Opportunity only knocks once but temptation leans on the doorbell
Karma has no deadlines A watched pot will eventually get paranoid
A poor memory is not the same as a clear conscience No one can make a fool of you. It's a do-it-yourself kind of thing
If at first you don’t succeed, you didn’t watch a YouTube how-to video When camping, the best way to avoid Bigfoot is to carry a reliable camera
One day at a time is sometimes way too fast Money always wins
Inside every small problem is a larger problem waiting for you to let it out Silence is golden, unless you have young kids, then it’s suspicious
Weddings aren’t GAY or straight ...just a waste of money that could have been used for a down payment Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else have your way
Procrastination: a vote of confidence in your future self Parties: For when you want to clean up twice in 12 hours
Reality doesn't care about your beliefs Friends are god's apology for relatives
A rumor without a leg to stand on will get around some other way You're only as good as your made up resume says you are
Gift cards: Gift shopping’s tiny surrender flags When one door closes... open it. It's a door. That's how they work.
The past is like the future with the lights on Insanity is saying the same thing over and over and expecting your kids to listen
The key to any relationship is sincerity Once you can fake that the rest is easy A paper cut is the tree’s small revenge
What doesn’t kill you sometimes makes you wish it had Tomorrow will be better. Or worse. Maybe the same.
If you really “did it like a boss” other people did it for you and you just took the credit Good judgment is gained from experience which is often gained from bad judgment
Anything is funnier if you’re not allowed to laugh at it If you’re happy and you know it, it’s your meds
If you can’t handle someone at their worst you may have very healthy boundaries The early bird gets the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese
An actual nonstop flight would be dreadful A pessimist is an optimist with more complete information
Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles -Pythagoras Anything can be funny if it happens to someone else
Every day is a gift of unreturnable things you didn’t ask for Leftovers are for quitters
You don’t wash your hands, they wash each other The future doesn't need us
The obscure, we see eventually. The completely obvious, it seems, takes longer -Edward R. Murrow Sunrise is the perfect light for revealing bad decisions
Reality is where the pizza delivery guy comes from Compromise is the satisfactory distribution of dissatisfaction
Naps - solving problems since forever History may not repeat itself but it does rhyme a lot. -Mark Twain
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