Modern Thought, page 4

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Just because you're necessary doesn't mean you're important The wheel stops for no hamster
A diamond is forever. And so are the payments Experience is what helps you recognize a mistake when you make it again
An optimist thinks this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true Children are our future. Unless we stop them now
We must learn from our mistakes of the past to improve our mistakes in the future There's no I in team, but there is in pie
Too much is never enough If it ain't broke, you're not trying hard enough
Yesterday is just a memory, tomorrow only a dream, but today was a real bitch When life gives you scurvy, make lemonade
You're only as good as your made up resume says you are Mistakes are proof that you're trying. And incompetent
Paranoia is the best defense If brute force doesn't work, it's not brute enough
The quickest way to find a thing you've lost is to buy a replacement It's n ot hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere
A pessimist is alone but an optimist is two people away from a threesome If you never try anything new, you'll miss out on many of life's great disappointments
The rich get richer and the poor really should try being rich Spandex. A privilege not a right
Sleep is for the weak Money can buy happiness if you know where to shop
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it Plagiarism is the most devious form of flattery
What's right is what's left once you've done everything else wrong Fake is the new real
Happy endings are just stories that aren't over yet A great way to balance work and family is to not care about either
No matter what you're looking for the good ones are always taken Everyone is someone's disappointment
Knowledge is knowing tomatoes are a fruit, wisdom is not putting them in a fruit salad Actually, some things do taste waaay better than skinny feels
There is nothing so permanent as a temporary solution that works If we didn't have lawyers we wouldn't need them
History Teacher is a secure job because every day there's more of it to teach No one can make you feel bad about yourself except for people who are better than you
Everything leaves a mark If you have no regrets, you aren't trying hard enough
Medicine is the best medicine The hardest part of parenting is the first 40 years
Bad ideas never age well They shouldn't be called space heaters, they should be called ankle warmers
Teamwork means not having to take all the blame It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you can nap while down there
Living behind an emotional wall is no good, you should get cement and lots of bricks It's not settling if it's the best you can do
Calories are tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little tighter every night If you find something everyone agrees on it will be wrong
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