Modern Thought, page 4
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Few things are harder to put up with than a good example -Mark Twain Mistakes are proof that you're trying. And incompetent
Self Delusion: It's fun and it's easy! An optimist thinks this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true
A diamond is forever. And so are the payments An expert is someone who is one page ahead in the manual
You're only as good as your made up resume says you are We must learn from our mistakes of the past to improve our mistakes in the future
The best time machine is an old song One day at a time is sometimes way too fast
No one can make a fool of you. It's a do-it-yourself kind of thing A poor memory is not the same as a clear conscience
Chocolate fixes everything Karma has no deadlines
Weddings aren’t GAY or straight ...just a waste of money that could have been used for a down payment Silence is golden, unless you have young kids, then it’s suspicious
Opportunity only knocks once but temptation leans on the doorbell Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else have your way
There is no we in fries. If at first you don’t succeed, you didn’t watch a YouTube how-to video
Procrastination: a vote of confidence in your future self When camping, the best way to avoid Bigfoot is to carry a reliable camera
Gift cards: Gift shopping’s tiny surrender flags Your dryer doesn’t shrink your clothes your refrigerator does
When one door closes... open it. It's a door. That's how they work. Everybody has a perfect memory when it’s something they’d rather forget
Every day is a gift of unreturnable things you didn’t ask for Friends are god's apology for relatives
Money always wins If you really “did it like a boss” other people did it for you and you just took the credit
Tomorrow will be better. Or worse. Maybe the same. Leftovers are for quitters
If you can’t handle someone at their worst you may have very healthy boundaries Anything is funnier if you’re not allowed to laugh at it
A paper cut is the tree’s small revenge A pessimist is someone who has heard one too many optimists
Good judgment is gained from experience which is often gained from bad judgment Reality is where the pizza delivery guy comes from
The key to any relationship is sincerity Once you can fake that the rest is easy Lack of ambition is a real timesaver
The past is like the future with the lights on A watched pot will eventually get paranoid
Reality doesn't care about your beliefs Inside every small problem is a larger problem waiting for you to let it out
History may not repeat itself but it does rhyme a lot. -Mark Twain A rumor without a leg to stand on will get around some other way
Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles -Pythagoras Sunrise is the perfect light for revealing bad decisions
Naps - solving problems since forever The early bird gets the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese
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