Wordplay, page 3

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I'm uncertain about quantum mechanics To err is human, to arr is pirate
Every time you make a typo the errorists win I'm not saying you're mean, I'm saying you're average
Ban censorship Don't be condescending (that's when you talk down to people)
The passive voice is to be avoided Know what I like to do? Answer my own questions
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice Chemists aren't cremated, they barium
Did you hear the one about the dyslexic who walked into a bra? Nothing's worse then misusing homophones
Having written this, my participle dangled You can observe a lot by watching. -Yogi Berra
I have plenty of self control because I never use any of it
I always give 100% about 3% of the time I used to be a perfectionist but I'm better now
Practice Safe Eating. Always use condiments Follow that car, Godzilla and step on it!
Stop the damn profanity! Relish today ketchup tomorrow
Stop Vandalism Become an editor, enjoy a rewording career
Love thy neighbor but pull down the shade Eat drink and be merry for tomorrow we may diet
The difference between in-laws and outlaws is... outlaws are wanted Ask your doctor for Nuthinatall. Along with proper diet and exercise, guaranteed to improve your health
Just say NO to negativism Censorship
To prevent headache, do what the aspirin bottle says: Keep away from children END HUNGER have a nice lunch
If you love someone let them go, because the police have you surrounded! Always Avoid Alliteration
Avoid being scammed! Send me $5 to find out how In the future, you will have read this. Well, OK, in the past now.
Join the IRS. Be Audit You Can Be Shirt the fur cup
I'm not superstitious, that would be bad luck Dear Math, Grow up and solve your own problems
Stop global swining Sharing needles spreads disease: say no to knitting circles
Flies Spread Disease. Keep yours zipped. Drive wrecklessly
Eschew Obfuscation If you know telekinesis please raise my hand
Patience comes to those who wait If Satan goes bald there'll be hell toupee
Facts are meaningless. You can use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true. -Home Simpson The 2 rules for success... 1. Never tell all you know
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