Wordplay, page 3

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I'm uncertain about quantum mechanics To err is human, to arr is pirate
Every time you make a typo the errorists win I'm not saying you're mean, I'm saying you're average
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice Don't be condescending (that's when you talk down to people)
The passive voice is to be avoided Know what I like to do? Answer my own questions
You can observe a lot by watching. -Yogi Berra Chemists aren't cremated, they barium
Did you hear the one about the dyslexic who walked into a bra? Nothing's worse then misusing homophones
Having written this, my participle dangled Relish today ketchup tomorrow
I have plenty of self control because I never use any of it
Just say NO to negativism I used to be a perfectionist but I'm better now
Eat drink and be merry for tomorrow we may diet Follow that car, Godzilla and step on it!
Stop Vandalism Dear Math, Grow up and solve your own problems
To prevent headache, do what the aspirin bottle says: Keep away from children Become an editor, enjoy a rewording career
Love thy neighbor but pull down the shade The 2 rules for success... 1. Never tell all you know
The difference between in-laws and outlaws is... outlaws are wanted Avoid being scammed! Send me $5 to find out how
I got my body by doing lots of crunches: Captain and Nestlé Censorship
If you love someone let them go, because the police have you surrounded! I'm not superstitious, that would be bad luck
Memory is the second thing to go. I don't remember what's first Web Designer
Drive wrecklessly Irony is what steel is
I'd like to have moe self esteem but I don't deserve it Shirt the fur cup
Sharing needles spreads disease: say no to knitting circles Eschew Obfuscation
I've changed my mind—if I could have dinner with anybody, living or dead, I choose dead If you know telekinesis please raise my hand
Patience comes to those who wait Conspiracy theories are bunk probably started by the government
I have an easy way to cut carbs If Satan goes bald there'll be hell toupee
Always Avoid Alliteration Is a Wednesday with no rain a dry hump day?
Facts are meaningless. You can use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true. -Home Simpson Of all the things I've lost I miss my keys the most
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