Internet Bumper Stickers
InternetBumperStickers.com Wordplay, page 4
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Today is the first anniversary of a year ago I spend 300% of my time exaggerating
I love realism Absolute zero is the coolest thing ever
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use I'm a social vegan, I avoid meet
This sticker no verb I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me
If you make just one person smile, you're probably not that much fun to be around The amount of sleep I usually need is ten minutes more
I can resist everything except temptation. -Oscar Wilde Want to attract a glutton? Piece of cake
I owe my success to my close attetion to detail You calling me judgmental just proves what I've said about you
When surveyed, 4 out of 5 older Americans replied, "What?" Mirror inspector is a job I could see myself doing
Why is it spelled camouflage and not When will carotene be out of beta?
I'm not superstitious, that would be bad luck Butterflies are not what they used to be
Here's a question for all the mind readers out there If you suck at playing the trumpet try blowing
Stop worrying about an apocalypse it’s not like it’ll be the end of the world Geology rocks but geography is where it’s at
On a scale of 1 to 10 I only weigh 10 pounds Sure, I’ll be altruistic. What’s in it for me?
You can observe a lot by watching. -Yogi Berra Age is only a number, check that, age is a word
Back in school I was voted Most Likely to Cling to Past Achievements My weekends are in tents
Dad jokes are always apparent Predictions are rarely correct, especially about the future
My vacuum cleaner just gathers dust Actually I'm quite humble. Which is quite rare in persons of my genious, wit and charism
Not all math puns are bad, just sum Octopi
What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot The label said, avoid eye contact. But, too late, I already saw it
The 1st rule of Plagiarism Club looks suspiciously familiar A new study says you will pay attention to anything starting with “a new study says”
This sticker is 25% funny and 85% bad at math I have a love/hate relationship with strong, contrary emotions
Eye like puns, the cornea the better I love heavy metal (tuba)
The sign, Employees Must Wash Hands, is wrong. It’s perfectly OK to wash your own hands If you rearrange the letters in mail bag you get the carrier very angry
I don’t have the words to describe how limited my vocabulary is No prohibiting
I haven’t slept for 4 days. That’s too long to stay asleep I wanted to be a wizard but I never got the chants
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