Internet Bumper Stickers Wordplay, page 6

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What I if told you that you read this wrong? I don't trust atoms, they make up everything
Everyone says I'm in denial but really I'm not Like a boss
Thank dog I'm not dyslexic I have discovered that the best time to plan ahead is always in the past
Darts: Game of Throws To learn is to make mistakes
I'm not a racist, I don't even drive The only problem you can run away from is if your problem is you don't run enough
Snowmen pick their noses in the vegetab le aisle Age is only a number, check that, age is a word
I'm trying to give up sexual double entendres but it's hard Ban rap music. It encourages rudeness to bitches and hos
Obesity is widespread Weirdly insufficient rule: I before E except after C
I'll never be a self-made man, I'm just not that handy I choose to believe what I was programmed to believe
This is the highlight of your day Director Department of Redundancy Department
I've said it before and I'll say it again. It. Indecision this way
Fat Food For the record, I own a turntable
They say I'm noncommittal but let's just wait and see Witch Parking Only. All others will be toad
2 = 2 = 5 (for particularly large values of 2) You make worse analogies than sawing wood
Self-Awareness Lessons. Inquire Within Some people have a way with words, others have not way
Knit happens Being humble would be better if I got more  recognition for it
I'm a bad judge of people but I think I'd make an ok executioner Sleep is the best cure for insomnia
Free contradictions, half price! Things I don't have time for: 1.That
I'm sure you hate it when people make assumptions about you Exaggerators Anonymous - A Trillion Strong and Growing
National Procrastination Day. Date: TBD If you are illiterate ignore this message
Does Waldo wear stripes because he doesn't want to be spotted? This sticker is 25% funny and 85% bad at math
If life gives you melons maybe you're dyslexic I can't recall why my career as a memory expert ended
DNA: National Dyslexic Association Rules to learning English: their our know rules
People say I'm paranoid. I'm not sure who, but there are lots of them I love realism
Aced my blood test. Got an A- A good icebreaker is global warming
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