Internet Bumper Stickers
InternetBumperStickers.com Wordplay, page 6

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Operators are standing by This is the highlight of your day
People say I'm paranoid. I'm not sure who, but there are lots of them It is wrong to ever split an infinitive
I love rebuses Thank dog I'm not dyslexic
You say I'm addicted to brake fluid but I can stop any time Playas are a beach
I haven’t slept for 4 days. That’s too long to stay asleep If they don't want me to knock it over why do they write "Tip Jar" on it?
Steps to take in case of fire: really big ones What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot
I laugh at mountains because they’re hill areas "Stop quoting me!" -Anonymous
Unlike some of you, I don’t care to be passive aggressive To be frank, I would have to change my name
A procrastinator's work is never done To me, the meaning of translucent is not quite clear
Not sure I trust my math teacher and his graph paper He may be plotting something There are 2 kinds of people: 1. Those who can extrapolate incomplete data
Double negatives are a no no I'm not superstitious, just a little stiitious
(pumpkin) pi Question Everything. Why?
My vacuum cleaner just gathers dust I need constant validation, right?
I don’t like sausage jokes, they’re the wurst A good pun is its own reword
Not all math puns are bad, just sum I have an on again off again relationship with light switches
The sign, Employees Must Wash Hands, is wrong. It’s perfectly OK to wash your own hands Resist (resistor)
Top ten reasons to procrastinate: 1. When will carotene be out of beta?
Vegan zombies want grrraaaaains I’m kind of a big dill
Stop worrying about an apocalypse it’s not like it’ll be the end of the world My modus operandi is using Latin phrases to sound superior
A hippo is really heavy. A Zippo is a little lighter (Na)16 Batman
I’m addicted to interventions Look left. You failed.
You matter. Unless you energy Let's not talk about eternity because it just never ends
332 - I’m not half bad An introvert walks past a bar
The two rules for success: 1. Never tell all you know A new study says you will pay attention to anything starting with “a new study says”
I hate waiting in line. It’s my longstanding complaint Eat aluminum foil, you sheet metal
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