Wordplay
Wordplay, page 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6
Never believe generalizations I'm uncertain about quantum mechanics
There's a time for optimism and a time for pessimism. This is not one of them I used to be a kleptomaniac but I took something for it
Everyone says I'm in denial but really I'm not Free contradictions, half price!
Never use a word you don't plaintively understand I finally got a diagnosis! ...Restless Leg Syndrome!
National Procrastination Day. Date: TBD Avoid cliches like the plague
Abstinence? I gave it up They say I'm noncommittal but let's just wait and see
Good eye might - Congratulations, you now speak Australian When surveyed, 4 out of 5 older Americans replied, "What?"
Director Department of Redundancy Department This is not a drill
There's no I in denial Darts: Game of Throws
Self-Awareness Lessons. Inquire Within I'm sure you hate it when people make assumptions about you
Do not put statements in the negative form
My doctor didn't want to see me gain more weight so I gave him a blindfold My favorite memories are of the past
Logic tells us that dishonesty is still the second-best policy I don't trust atoms, they make up everything
Rules to learning English: their our know rules Some people are wise but most are otherwise
My mom never loved me as a child. But then, I wasn't there when she was a child Prepositions are not words to end a sentence with
Procrastinators are the leaders of tomorrow I've stopped wearing my mood ring and I'm not sure how I feel about that
Does the Little Mermaid wear an alegbra? I may not be sagacious, canny, clever or shrewd, but I do own a thesaurus
Game, set, match = tennis. Set, match, run = arson I never apologize. I'm sorry but that's just how I am
I'm not a control freak I just like to show people the right way to do things Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use
A good icebreaker is global warming Heisenberg may have slept here
I always start a diet on the same day: tomorrow They call me apathetic but I don't care
I learned two big lessons today. I can't remember the first but the second is "write things down" Eliminate and abolish redundancy
Velcro is a rip off Positive Thinking is 90% mental
I advise you to never listen to advice What I if told you that you read this wrong?
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