Internet Bumper Stickers Wordplay, page 6

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This is the highlight of your day Steps to take in case of fire: really big ones
I haven’t slept for 4 days. That’s too long to stay asleep My weekends are in tents
To me, the meaning of translucent is not quite clear Question Everything. Why?
You say I'm addicted to brake fluid but I can stop any time If they don't want me to knock it over why do they write "Tip Jar" on it?
American children can be kind but German children are always kinder What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot
A good pun is its own reword Puns make me numb. Math puns make me number
I laugh at mountains because they’re hill areas When will carotene be out of beta?
Unlike some of you, I don’t care to be passive aggressive To be frank, I would have to change my name
"Stop quoting me!" -Anonymous Playas are a beach
Not sure I trust my math teacher and his graph paper He may be plotting something There are 2 kinds of people: 1. Those who can extrapolate incomplete data
Double negatives are a no no I'm not superstitious, just a little stiitious
(pumpkin) pi I need constant validation, right?
My vacuum cleaner just gathers dust Bad puns are how eye roll
I don’t like sausage jokes, they’re the wurst A procrastinator's work is never done
Not all math puns are bad, just sum I have an on again off again relationship with light switches
The sign, Employees Must Wash Hands, is wrong. It’s perfectly OK to wash your own hands Resist (resistor)
Top ten reasons to procrastinate: 1. Vegan zombies want grrraaaaains
I’m kind of a big dill A hippo is really heavy. A Zippo is a little lighter
Stop worrying about an apocalypse it’s not like it’ll be the end of the world My modus operandi is using Latin phrases to sound superior
I don’t care IV roman numerals Look left. You failed.
I’m addicted to interventions Let's not talk about eternity because it just never ends
Pacifiers are for suckers You matter. Unless you energy
(Na)16 Batman An introvert walks past a bar
The two rules for success: 1. Never tell all you know A new study says you will pay attention to anything starting with “a new study says”
I hate waiting in line. It’s my longstanding complaint Eat aluminum foil, you sheet metal
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