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InternetBumperStickers.com Wordplay, page 6
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Bad puns are how eye roll I have six words for you
My daughter thinks I'm nosey or so it says in her diary Moist people don’t proofread carefully
This is the highlight of your day Society of Exaggerators - A trillion strong and growing
I haven’t slept for 4 days. That’s too long to stay asleep I bought a bad thesaurus It’s really bad how bad it is
If you fall I’ll be there for you -The Floor Things I dislike: 1.Bumperstickers 2.Lists 3.Irony
My modus operandi is using Latin phrases to sound superior What do you get from a vampire snowman? Frostbite
I can spell panda with just 2 letters: P and A It’s not a dad bod it’s a father figure
My dog ate my pronouns and he-she-it everywhere Things would be so much simpler if they just weren't so complicated
Typo Man, writer of wrongs I’m afflicted by airport jokes. Doc says it’s terminal
My fly’s open? Oh, I’m cool with that In the US. a woman gives birth every 9 seconds. That woman must be found and stopped
There are absolutely no absolutes Can I have some Potassium? K
Warning: I repeat myself Warning: I repeat myself Math is the only subject that counts
Stop making mitsakes The big difference between comma and coma is the length of the pause
The future ain't what it used to be Avocado Game First: Don’t look at the avocado. Game Over
Speech-to-text is my worst enema A night is like a day without sunshine
Optimist, pessimist and realist argued over the glass of water. Opportunist drank it Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
My delight in nostalgia is totally in the past Ask me about my reluctance to interact with strangers
It’s possible I’m a nihilist but it doesn’t matter No way -Jose
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