Internet Bumper Stickers
InternetBumperStickers.com Wordplay, page 4

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Predictions are rarely correct, especially about the future A hippo is really heavy. A Zippo is a little lighter
Double negatives are a no no To me, the meaning of translucent is not quite clear
6 out of 7 dwarfs are not Happy Back in school I was voted Most Likely to Cling to Past Achievements
Age is only a number, check that, age is a word Actually I'm quite humble. Which is quite rare in persons of my genious, wit and charism
Not all math puns are bad, just sum My weekends are in tents
Whoever stole my antidepressants, I hope you’re happy Doormats are gateway rugs
Mirror inspector is a job I could see myself doing If you suck at playing the trumpet try blowing
Butterflies are not what they used to be 20% off everything
This sticker is 25% funny and 85% bad at math American children can be kind but German children are always kinder
I wanted to be a wizard but I never got the chants Sure, I’ll be altruistic. What’s in it for me?
I'm taking steps to avoid elevators Stop worrying about an apocalypse it’s not like it’ll be the end of the world
Top ten reasons to procrastinate: 1. Look left. You failed.
Bumper I'm not superstitious, that would be bad luck
My vacuum cleaner just gathers dust If you rearrange the letters in mail bag you get the carrier very angry
The label said, avoid eye contact. But, too late, I already saw it I just ordered a chicken and an egg online. Now let’s see
On a scale of 1 to 10 I only weigh 10 pounds A new study says you will pay attention to anything starting with “a new study says”
Please explain sleep to me because I just don't get it Two wrongs don't make a right but three rights make a left
(Na)16 Batman Everyone named Iris is 80% Irish
What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot Life would be a billion times better if people stopped all the hyperbole
I haven’t slept for 4 days. That’s too long to stay asleep The 1st rule of Plagiarism Club looks suspiciously familiar
Just swallowed a dictionary. Now I have thesaurus throat I love surprises as long as I know they’re coming
Dad jokes are always apparent I don’t have the words to describe how limited my vocabulary is
You say I'm addicted to brake fluid but I can stop any time The sign, Employees Must Wash Hands, is wrong. It’s perfectly OK to wash your own hands
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother I love heavy metal (tuba)
Hyphenated. Un-hyphenated. Ironic. No prohibiting
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